NL for Young Children & Parents: Growing Connection, Healing, and Hope

NL for Young Children & Parents: Growing Connection, Healing, and Hope

Every parent longs to see their child thrive. Yet often, the tools they are given either fall short or leave them feeling conflicted.

One message says, “Be firm.” Another says, “Be gentle.” Parents are left swinging between extremes, unsure of what will truly help their child feel safe, grow strong, and stay connected.

As professionals who walk alongside families, we know the weight parents carry. And we also know the difference it makes when they finally have a framework that honors both love and limits.

When information becomes transformation

The insights parents gain through NL are not abstract theories. They are truths that reshape daily life almost immediately.

In a recent training, a parent who is also a life coach shared that she had studied parenting models for years. Yet it was the NL framework that brought her to tears. For the first time, she could see her child’s behavior through the lens of healthy development of the brain and nervous system. “Now I get it,” she said.

This is the kind of shift we witness again and again. It is not about adding more skills to a parent’s toolbox. It is about giving them a lens that changes everything they see.

Meeting children where they are

One of the most important lessons NL offers is that every behavior carries meaning. A meltdown can signal a nervous system in distress. Withdrawal can reflect a child’s attempt to feel safe when the world feels overwhelming.

Take the young boy I worked with in therapeutic foster care who was being restrained sixteen times a day. Traditional approaches of consequences and punishments only deepened his distress. When caregivers began applying NL principles in regulating their own bodies, staying present through his storm, and offering rhythm instead of control, restraints slowly disappeared. Within a month, they were no longer needed.

Or consider the quiet little girl who seemed to be “losing” her ability to learn. In truth, she was dissociating as a way of surviving sexual trauma. Through NL-informed support, she regained presence, re-engaged in school, and watched her grades rise again.

These stories remind us that healing begins not with fixing behaviors, but with helping the brain and body return to safety and connection.

A way of being that changes everything

Parents often cry when they first learn this work. Not out of despair, but out of relief. For the first time, they see their children—and themselves—through a lens of compassion, possibility, and hope.

As professionals, guiding families into this way of being is some of the most meaningful work we can do. It does not mean handing parents a script to follow. It means helping them embody presence, attunement, and rhythm. It means walking with them as they learn to stay in the hard moments without punishing or rescuing, but instead holding steady and offering support.

This is the heart of Natural Lifemanship.

An invitation to deepen your impact

The NL for Young Children & Parents course was created for those who walk alongside families in their hardest and most tender seasons. It invites you to see parenting through a new lens, one that is grounded in science yet deeply human.

Why take this course? Because the way we understand children shapes the way we respond to them. And when that understanding shifts, everything else shifts with it.

When you step into this work, you begin to see how trauma and stress shape the developing brain, and how even the smallest interactions can either build or weaken connection. You learn how to guide parents toward presence and regulation so that they can meet their children with steadiness and compassion, even in the most challenging moments. Most of all, you witness hope returning to families who once felt stuck in cycles of frustration or despair.

This is not about adding one more tool or technique to your practice. It is about deepening your capacity to support parents in ways that truly transform family life.

When you shift from offering strategies to cultivating presence and connection, the families you serve begin to experience lasting change. This is the heart of what NL makes possible.

We invite you to join us!

Together, we can give parents more than advice. We can offer them a way of being that grows connection, healing, and hope.

NL for Young Children and Parents

Online, structured, self-paced course with optional group discussions

Applying NL principles to your work with young children and parents
can transform lives and enhance your practice.

Registration is now open.

Register

We hope you’ll join us on this next step in deepening our understanding of children and families.

 

 

 

The Biggest Shift Since 2020 – Why We’re Changing Fundamentals Again

The Biggest Shift Since 2020 – Why We’re Changing Fundamentals Again

I remember exactly where I was when the world shut down in 2020.

I was in the middle of leading one of my favorite trainings: our Personal Immersion. We had just begun diving into attachment history and attachment wounding. It was deep, sacred work.

I stepped inside to grab water and tissues for someone, and the woman hosting us looked at me wide-eyed. She had just come from the store, and the shelves were empty. She showed me a picture. Just the day before, everything had looked normal. That day, it looked like mayhem.

By the time I got home, I walked into the living room and there was an announcement on the TV about the lockdown. That moment, much like 9/11, etched itself into my memory. I’ll never forget it.

The next morning, our entire staff gathered on a call. At the time, our livelihood came from hosting 67 in-person trainings every year. In one day, all of it evaporated. We wouldn’t be able to make payroll in three weeks if we didn’t do something.

So we did something big.

The Pivot That Changed Everything

We dropped everything else and worked like I’ve never seen us work before. Day and night, texting at 1:00 a.m., everyone contributing to one singular task: create an online version of the Fundamentals of NL.

In just three weeks, we launched the first fully virtual Fundamentals.

And you know what? It worked.

Not only did it keep our community connected and learning in a time of deep isolation, but it kept our business afloat and expanded our reach in ways we hadn’t imagined. People could learn at their own pace. They could pause, breathe, reflect—something especially important when studying trauma. They could rewatch videos of horse interactions and see subtle moments they might have missed in person.

For many, it was life-changing.

But Five Years Later…

Something has shifted again.

In 2020, online learning was a lifeline. It gave us connection when the world forced us into isolation. But five years later, so many of us are exhausted from endless video learning.

I’ve said it myself more times than I can count: I am tired of watching videos online all by myself.

The truth is, pre-recorded content can only go so far. Teaching is about attunement, about watching how a lesson lands, listening for questions, and adjusting in real time. That’s what I miss the most.

When we taught in person, the content was always evolving. We adjusted constantly based on student feedback, new research, and what we were learning in the moment.

But with pre-recorded videos, the content stayed largely the same. For five years, while research advanced and our own organizational learning deepened, the Fundamentals curriculum stayed mostly the same.

But that’s about to change.

Why We’re Introducing Fundamentals LIVE

This fall marks the biggest shift to Fundamentals since 2020.

For the first time, you can join us for LIVE Fundamentals: eight weeks of real-time learning with me, Tim, Kate, and Tanner. Instead of static videos, you’ll step into dynamic, relational teaching that responds to your needs and the rest of the group’s––in the moment.

LIVE Fundamentals also gives us the chance to finally integrate what we’ve been wanting to bring forward: updated research, new practices, and more effective ways of teaching.

Teaching live allows me and the rest of our team to attune to the group and to notice what’s resonating, respond to questions as they surface, and adjust in real time. That shared rhythm is what makes live learning so powerful, and it’s something pre-recorded content simply can’t replicate.

The Commitment of Live Learning

Live learning comes with commitment, from you and from us.

For you, it means setting aside time twice a week  at 3:00 to 5:00 pm, four hours of synchronous learning. It is less flexible than asynchronous videos, but far more rewarding. Synchronous means rhythmic. It means we come together, find a rhythm as a group, and move through this learning in step with one another.

For us, it means showing up fully prepared, to not only teach what we know, but to build on it based on where the group is going. It means customizing the training, not just repeating a script. It’s a bigger investment for all of us, and a bigger return.

How It Works

Here’s how we’ve structured it:

  • You sign up for Jumpstart + LIVE Add-On option.
  • Contact support@naturallifemanship.com for a coupon code to sign up for the LIVE add on as a refresher.
  • Many of our trainers themselves have taken Fundamentals more than once because each time you revisit it, you embody it more deeply.

So if you’ve felt like you missed something the first time, this is your chance. You don’t have to travel or spend money for lodging —just real-time, relational learning, right where you are.

From Crisis to Choice

In 2020, we pivoted out of necessity.

In 2025, we’re pivoting out of vision.

We don’t have to accept the current state of disconnection as the new normal. We can take what worked from 2020, leave what no longer serves, and create the future of learning together.

That’s what this shift is about.

Your Invitation

So I’ll leave you with this: What did 2020 change for you? And what kind of learning do you long for now?

If you’re ready for connection;

If you want to experience this work in real time;

If you’re ready to revisit Fundamentals, or step into it for the very first time, I invite you to join us.

Fundamentals of Natural Lifemanship: LIVE Cohort

September 8 – December 3, 2025

Online, with weekly live sessions

Register for Fundamentals LIVE >>

And if you’ve already taken the Fundamentals and want to just take the LIVE learning component, please email Clair@naturallifemanship.com for a discount code.

I hope you’ll join us in this new chapter of learning.

 

 

 

Experience Versus Competence: What Do We Certify?

Experience Versus Competence: What Do We Certify?

What Does It Really Mean to Be Certified?

When we launched the Natural Lifemanship (NL) Certification Program in 2016, we asked ourselves two important questions:

What does it mean to be NL certified? And what exactly are we certifying?

Many of us had been studying the Neurosequential Model with Dr. Bruce Perry. In our discussions, we kept returning to something he emphasized repeatedly when speaking about certification. He was clear that his program was designed to provide people with the experiences they needed to learn and apply the Neurosequential Model. However, he also acknowledged that the degree to which someone became competent in using the model was beyond the scope of what his program could evaluate.

Dr. Perry stated plainly: his certification program certified experience, not competence.

That framing deeply resonated with us. From the very beginning, Natural Lifemanship has taken the same stance:

We certify experience. We do not certify competence.

Competence Is a Moving Target

When we invest in our growth and learning, of course we want to become competent. With competence comes effectiveness and also confidence. We feel more capable, we know what we are doing, we achieve good outcomes, and as a result, we find our work rewarding and enjoyable.

However, what it takes to be competent changes with time and context. Just as you can never stand in the same river twice, you can never be assured that the knowledge and skills you possess right now will be sufficient to effectively deal with a situation you encounter tomorrow or a year from now.

True competence requires continual growth. One has never entirely “arrived.”

That said, accomplishments along the way are important. They demonstrate the extent of one’s dedication and striving to continually learn and grow. They show that you are moving along a path.

And at NL, being on the path is more important than reaching the end of it.

Engagement Prevails Over Competence

As a model that is deeply geared toward development—personal development, professional development, and even neurodevelopment—we are not in the business of asking, “Are you competent?” or, “Can you do this or that?

Those are binary distinctions: yes or no; can or cannot. But real growth is a long process, with ups and downs, successes and failures.

The one essential criterion for growth is ongoing engagement. So instead, we ask: Are you engaged?

Engagement can be measured by both how often you show up and how you show up. You cannot be engaged if you do not show up at all. And once you do show up, the quality of your presence determines what you gain from any experience.

It is the quantity and quality of your experiences that reflect your level of engagement.

This is why our certification process is exactly that—a process.

Engaging in experiences over time is more meaningful to us than demonstrating competence at a single moment in time.

Milestones, Not Endpoints

While your learning and growth with NL will never end (at least we hope they don’t!), we would love to help you celebrate and share your milestones and achievements along the way. That is why we are now very pleased to offer digital credentials.

These new digital badges and certificates of completion are earned when you reach certain milestones in the certification journey:

  • When you complete the Fundamentals of NL, you are considered Level 1 Trained.
  • When you complete the NL Intensive, you are considered Level 2 Trained.

The more experiences you engage in with us, the more badges you’ll earn. This is not intended to be a “token economy” or a system of rewards. Rather, it is a way to demonstrate a level of engagement and commitment.

Looking Ahead

We will be dedicating some future blogs to this subject as we aim to help EAS consumers better understand what to look for when choosing a practitioner.

These upcoming pieces will explore what our credentials actually represent, how they reflect experience and engagement, and why that matters when you’re seeking care rooted in connection and development.

We look forward to continuing the conversation, and we are honored to walk alongside you.

 

Why Movement Matters: The Body’s Role in Equine-Assisted Healing

Why Movement Matters: The Body’s Role in Equine-Assisted Healing

When it comes to equine-assisted services, we often focus on the profound emotional and psychological breakthroughs that happen when humans and horses connect. We celebrate the moments when a client finds their voice, builds confidence, or processes trauma through their relationship with these magnificent equine partners. But there’s something fundamental we’re missing in many conversations about this work—something that determines whether these breakthroughs happen at all.

Your body is speaking, whether you realize it or not, and the horses are listening.

The Language Horses Understand Best

When we engage with a horse, we enter a conversation that precedes spoken language. Horses are hardwired to read the subtle communications of movement, posture, and energy that reveal intention, emotional state, and even past experiences. They don’t care about your credentials, your therapeutic techniques, or your carefully crafted treatment plans. They care about what your body is telling them at this moment.

This creates both an incredible opportunity and a significant challenge for those of us working in equine-assisted services. The opportunity lies in the immediate, honest feedback horses provide about our internal states. The challenge is that most of us have never been trained to understand what our bodies are actually communicating.

We live in a culture that has taught us to separate the mind from the body, to treat physical wellness as distinct from mental health. But here’s what science tells us: our brain, body, and nervous system develop together from the very beginning.

In utero, it’s not that the brain develops first and then tells the body to move. Rather, the body begins moving in reflexive patterns, and it’s through this movement that neural pathways form.

Movement builds the brain. And trauma, by altering our movement patterns, reshapes our neural landscape in ways that affect how we think, feel, and relate to the world.

Trauma Changes the Way We Move

When trauma occurs, the body adapts. These adaptations are often protective, and they are usually unconscious.

We see this played out in the bodies of trauma survivors—shoulders turned inward, eyes cast downward, feet turned inward with toes curled toward the midline. This particular posture, interestingly, mirrors one of our earliest intrauterine movements, when a developing baby moves into the protective fetal position.

When someone lives in this contracted, protective posture consistently, they’re not just physically small—they’re emotionally and energetically small too. They’ve learned to make themselves quiet, invisible, safe. And horses, with their exquisite sensitivity to body language and energy, respond to this communication immediately.

A Story of Change

One of our clients, a woman in her 40s, came to us with a history of early and repeated trauma. Her body moved in a way that reflected her past. She walked with her head down, her shoulders rounded, and her toes curled slightly inward. She carried herself as if trying to disappear.

When she made requests of the horses, they ignored her. Some even pushed her out of their space.

Rather than focusing on what she was saying, we focused on how she was moving. We worked with developmental movement patterns—specifically, the push and reach patterns that help restore a sense of agency. These patterns are part of what we teach in the Embodied Developmental Movement Series.

This wasn’t about telling her how to stand. Instead, we invited her to explore “push” in her body – her ability to push into the earth for support, and her experience of pushing on an object, or another person, to rediscover her internal strength. In exploring “push”, we also explore the felt sense of “I am here”.

As she practiced these movements, her nervous system began to shift. Her stance changed. Her energy became more organized.

We didn’t ask her to stand a certain way, we helped her find what she needed to hold herself tall.

Eventually, the horses started to respond to her differently. They began to listen, to connect, and to willingly choose to cooperate with her requests.

The change was not just physical, it was emotional and relational. And it began in the body.

Subtle Adjustments Make a Big Impact

Another client, an executive with a high level of anxiety, presented a different movement pattern. On the surface she appeared confident, straight-backed with her head up. But her movement told a more complex story.

When she reached toward her horse, her weight shifted backward. Her knees were locked, and she stood heavily on her heels. She believed she was grounded. In truth, she was leaning away.

With gentle guidance, she softened her knees and allowed her full foot to meet the ground. For the first time, she felt her toes. This simple change brought her into a more neutral and balanced position. Her horse responded with a deep breath and moved toward her.

That moment marked a turning point. By learning to move in a more integrated way, she experienced a deeper sense of connection—with herself and with her horse.  A shift she couldn’t help but take into the rest of her relationships.

Retained Reflexes and Incomplete Patterns

We also see clients who carry reflexes that were never fully integrated during development. (Sometimes it is just a part of themselves who carries the reflex.) The Moro reflex, for example, is a startle response that should complete in infancy. When it remains active, it can show up in adult clients as sudden backward movement, difficulty recovering from surprise, or heightened reactivity.

In equine sessions, this often becomes visible during mounted work. If a horse makes a sudden stop or shift, the client may flinch backward and struggle to return to center. These reactions are not about the horse. They are rooted in the body’s unprocessed history.

By working with these reflexes in an intentional manner, we help clients build the capacity to stay present. We help them complete movements that were never allowed to finish.

A Change the Horses Can See

The people we work with often begin to feel change in their bodies before they see it reflected in their lives. In traditional relationships, others may take time to notice or trust a person’s transformation.

But horses notice right away.

When a client stands more grounded, breathes more deeply, or moves with intention, the horse responds immediately. That response builds trust. It reinforces the change. It gives the client something to hold onto when the outside world is slower to catch up.

This is one of the reasons equine-assisted work is so powerful. It allows clients to experience the impact of their healing as it happens.

The Role of the Practitioner

To do this work well, we must become students of movement. We need to understand how the body was designed to move, how trauma alters that movement, and how we can guide clients in regaining patterns that support regulation and connection.

This is what the Embodied Developmental Movement Series teaches.

Across four progressive trainings, we explore the motor patterns and reflexes that shape human development. We practice observing the body with care and clarity. And we learn how to support small, intentional shifts that lead to meaningful transformation.

The work of developmental movement is about connecting with our most basic, and pervasive, way of experiencing the world.  As a facilitator, we can observe gesture, posture, gait, breath, patterns of tension and collapse, and so much more.

We can lean into the subtle nuances of how our clients move through their world, and rebuild patterns from the ground up that support health and harmony.

When you become more fluent in the language of movement, you gain new tools for healing. And you help your clients discover what it means to be fully present in their own bodies—and in their relationships.

Healing rooted in the body

When we help someone move differently, we help them live and connect differently. That is the heart of this work.

If you already practice a somatic lens with your clients, these trainings will add to your toolbox and enrich your skills. See more in your client’s subtleties, get to the root of the issue faster, and have more ways to creatively bring integration and clarity to your sessions.

If you are new to somatic work, or are unsure about your scope of practice, these trainings can offer you what you need to have a solid foundation to offer clients.  By attending all four trainings, you create your somatic movement scope of practice.

If you are ready to deepen your practice and explore the intelligence of movement, we invite you to explore the Embodied Developmental Movement Series with Mark Taylor and Bettina Shultz-Jobe and join us.

 

 

 

What it Means to Truly Do the Work

What it Means to Truly Do the Work

“100% the best training I have ever attended in over a decade of practicing equine assisted psychotherapy!” – Jacquelyn Kaschel, Eagala Adv. MH/ES

The Personal Immersion is my favorite training that we offer at Natural Lifemanship.  There, I said it.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I LOVE all our trainings…the Fundamentals with all those fresh hearts and minds! The Intensive with the deeply personal dive into building consensual relationships! The Relationship Logic with its quiet, nuanced fine tuning! The Rhythmic Riding with all that movement and rhythm!!  I could go on and on.  But still, the Personal Immersion is just so powerful, personal, and holistic….I really cannot get enough!

Which is why I was dreaming of our next PI coming up in March, and decided to peruse our evaluations from the past Personal Immersions we have offered.  We are always evolving our work here at NL, continued personal and professional growth is a deeply held value for us.  And so I wanted to look back over our evaluations and get a snap shot of where we need to keep growing.

Y’ALL. I was blown away by these testimonials!

Reading these words brought tears to my eyes and warmth to my core.  I just LOVE this training!  I wanted to share some of the testimonials with you in case you’ve been curious about the Personal Immersion. Here’s one from Emily…

The Personal Immersion is life-changing! I would recommend anyone who is in a helping role attend. Even years later, I am feeling the positive effects of having attended. It was a spark that set ablaze the growth in my healing journey in places where I was stuck. I am still thankful for how I’ve grown. -Emily

We call it a training, but it is more of a retreat, really.  Our time spent in the small group (8 people max!) is highly experiential – The PI is an incredibly safe (and brave!) immersion into curiosity about one’s own patterns, strengths, and tender places – as well as movement and connection to support healing and repair – body, mind, and soul.  Our goal is to support students in learning about attachment by accessing their own attachment wounds and strengths.

You cannot take someone where you have never been

We are called to develop ourselves if we are going to take someone else on a personal journey. I feel this so strongly, and believe our PI helps practitioners really embody necessary skills for their own healing, and for working with others.

Natural lifemanship is a space where you can explore, grow, and learn in a safe, supported environment. They care about you as a person first, and a professional second. If you are looking to journey deeper into yourself and experience what true relationship feels like, this is the place to do it! -Amy Fox

Ugh! How amazing are those words – it takes me back to all those moments at the PI when we are in some deep stuff, and the group just radiates support and love.  It’s like nothing else I have ever experienced.  The work that takes place in the 4 days we gather together for this training is so holistic and so intentional, I feel it every time I am there.

The Natural Lifemanship model is so deep, so moving, and so life changing for both people and the animals we are able to connect with. I wish everyone could be so gentle and loving in their approach to relationships of all kinds. – Wendi Morin

Guidance and support every step of the way

The Personal Immersion was painstakingly crafted over years – drawing from a variety of skill sets and experiences.  Each trainer brings a unique perspective, yet all are grounded in a desire to put connection first, in every moment.  Honestly, we get rave reviews about our wonderful facilitators…here are just a few…

The quality of instruction was inspiring. Both as a team and individually each practitioner shared their gifts and strengths. Everyone was so kind, supportive, insightful, and professional.

AMAZING!!!! All of the instructors, each and every one, was valuable, authentic, supportive, and loving.

All the facilitators were super attuned, compassionate, and highly skilled. I can not stress this enough. It was life changing!

I would describe the quality of instruction as excellent, intentional, and effective. Every minute, every activity was so thoughtfully planned. I am grateful beyond measure.

With the caring guidance of 6 (yes, SIX!) trainers, our participants (only 8) are supported in digging deeply into their own experience.  Through a connected and supportive group, time in nature, somatic and equine assisted activities, and a lot of rhythm, participants are invited to explore what it really means to be securely attached.  To tend to all parts of themselves. To support others from a confident and calm inner strength. To access their own wisdom and bring it forth for healing.

Anxious about doing this work on yourself? You are not alone!

I was anxious about exploring this core issue of attachment but I also knew it was what I needed for myself and to better support clients on their journey. The setting and the wonderful staff provided safe, heartfelt and playful opportunities to explore the deep well of attachment. I’m so glad I took the risk – this experience continues to have a positive ripple effect in my personal and work life. -Janice Stump, MSW Peace Ranch

The Personal Immersion is the most holistic offering of Natural Lifemanship principles we have on our calendar.  This is a 4 day immersion into the feel of NL – from the environment, to the pacing, to the activities, the conversations, the meals, and the rituals and connections – the Personal Immersion walks the walk of NL.

Will you walk with us?

I’ll leave you with one more testimonial.  This one brings tears to my eyes and reminds me of why Natural Lifemanship exists.  Thank you, Shayla, for this beautiful statement.

The NL Personal Immersion training is an experience that will be ingrained in my heart forever.  The way the trainers and attendees showed up in physical presence as we learned about and leaned into being fully embodied was unexpectedly powerful, and the levels in which I was met and awakened mentally, emotionally, and spiritually are matchless.  I was drawn to this training for personal reasons and have no doubt that my awareness and growth in that area will overflow into my professional realm as well.  I’m so thrilled to not only have opened my heart and mind to this training, but to have experienced it, because what filled my space was (and still is) soul stirring.  It felt like coming home… to an internal place of residence I always knew dwelled deep inside, but didn’t know how to access it.  If you’re looking for a special place to feel seen, heard, and valued in ways that will uplift and validate you, look no further. – Shayla Anderson

This training sells out every time we offer it, and for good reason! As helping professionals, we join clients through some of their most challenging moments. Yet as humans, we experience plenty of our own challenging moments as well. Intimately knowing these aspects of the human experience makes us better clinicians! Join us for the Personal Immersion at NL Headquarters from March 13 – 16, 2025. Register now.

 

 

Roots before Wings: Presence is the Practice

Roots before Wings: Presence is the Practice

By Bettina Shultz-Jobe and Kate Naylor

Building Strong Roots

We have had some chaotic weather in Texas these last few years – long stretches of drought, periods of extreme heat, sudden flooding rains, and then without much warning, extreme cold.

All of us feel the strain of this uncertainty, and our beloved trees in Texas are no exception.

In the last two years since moving to the NL Headquarters, we have lost an extensive amount of trees, throughout Texas, and on our own property.  Our trees are breaking off at the branches, pulling up from the roots, and dropping at an alarming rate.

Here in Brenham, Texas we love our trees.  The Texas live oak can live over 1,000 years.  It is green year round, as it drops its leaves in the spring at the same time that it buds new growth.  There is something about these trees that inspires wonder and a confirmation deep in my soul that I am a tiny, yet very important part of something much bigger than we can ever imagine.

We are working hard to care for this place, this property, these trees.  We invited an arborist from Texas Tree Services to help us keep our trees strong.  What he told us really resonated with me.  If the trees are to handle the rapid changes and the lack of predictability, now more than ever, they have to put their energy toward the growth of their root systems.  The roots have to go deeper and wider.

Many of our trees have thrown energy into stretching their branches, and haven’t built themselves a strong foundation of roots. (It makes sense that they have done this – the way the rain has fallen and the weather has changed, the trees are going through rapid growth cycles – behavior always makes sense in context).  This is going to take a significant investment of time and financial resources.  The arborist will trim back the excess, while also deeply nourishing the root systems of our trees with a specially designed formula and protocol to encourage the roots to grow, while greatly limiting the outward growth of the tree for up to 3 years, in hopes that our trees will be able to weather future storms with a stronger root system.

The arborist will not make the mistake so many of us make in search of a quick fix – applying nitrogen-rich synthetic fertilizers that stimulate leaf and woody growth causing even more stress on the tree.  In Texas, we have lost over 1 BILLION trees in the last 20 years.  When trees survive a stressful event, they become vulnerable to secondary threats like insects, fungi, and parasites.  So, while the quick fix is tempting, it only makes matters worse.

We have to grow our roots

You can see the metaphor here, right? We talk about strong foundations a lot at Natural Lifemanship.  We are always asking ourselves, what really builds a strong root system?  What is necessary?  What is integral?  Are we being true to our values, our beliefs, our roots?  We find this topic so important that we even have a conference coming up in April that digs into these questions of roots, foundations, basics…

Just like our arborist, we have put great care into developing the formula, the protocol, if you will, needed to build a strong foundation, because we understand that quick fixes and unfettered outward growth only make matters worse.  The trees in Texas offer a foreboding story of what happens when our root systems are not strong enough to handle the stress of our times.  They also tell us a beautiful story of hope, of what is possible when our foundation carries the breath and depth needed to heal, grow, and thrive.

The Fundamentals

This is also why we call our level one training the Fundamentals of Natural Lifemanship.  It is an attempt at creating a strong foundation for our students, so they can weather the ever evolving and unpredictable nature of working with animals and humans.  We cannot give our community a perfect road map of the future challenges, but with a solid foundation of theory, knowledge, and practice, we know each of our students can weather future storms.  When we can answer “why?” then the rest of the path unfolds as it needs to, without our forcing it.

In the Fundamentals, we begin by offering necessary information on the neurobiology of mammals, and humans specifically – we present learning on the topics of human development, attachment, equine science, trauma, and healing relationships. This information fuels our approach in session because we have a better understanding of why people and animals behave the way they do, and what they need in order to make different choices. Some of this information challenges old beliefs many of us carry – so we offer time for processing, reflection, questioning, and then finally, simple activities to put this new learning into practice (we call these two activities ‘attachment with connection’ and ‘detachment with connection’).

It is through this practice of connection during attachment (physical closeness) and detachment (physical distance), and through the conversations and the experiences with peers, trainers, and horses, that our students grapple with the fundamental aspects of what it means to grow and heal. The process of trimming away what no longer serves us, and deepening into a new understanding –  not just in a cognitive sense, but in an embodied, rooted way – takes time and practice.  We do this so our students can face any challenge that arises, no matter how unpredictable, because they have developed a way of showing up in relationships that is healing.  We teach, not a thing to do or a formula to follow, but a reason and a way to be.

Leading with “Why”

Our intention is to offer principles that help our students ask, and then answer, the question “Why?”  When we know ‘why’ something is, it becomes much clearer what we will do, and how we will do it. We explore why to develop our values and principles – questions like, why have I chosen to add horses to my work? Why do people struggle in relationships? Why do I choose one intervention over another?

As we engage in practice we lead with ‘why’ so we remain curious – why did my horse respond that way? Why do I feel these sensations in my body? Why do I keep stepping in to control this moment? We develop our beliefs for healing work with horses, and we develop our abilities to stay connected to ourselves and others – so that the “what” and “how” can be more easily answered in the moment.

These questions can feel daunting…but after our students have gained new knowledge, wrestled with their beliefs, and explored principles for healing, knowing what to do becomes much simpler. This foundation fuels the choices made in every client session in the future.

When we are faced with uncertainty like a new client, a new horse, or a new struggle it can be easy to grasp at any thing that might get us over our discomfort.  As facilitators, therapists, and equine professionals, these quick fixes may look like strict rules, protocols, or prescribed activities, but, if we have been in this place before, this place of uncertainty, and we know we can handle it, grasping becomes unnecessary.

Moving through the Fundamentals is a time to begin this wrestling with uncertainty, and to hopefully realize that certainty isn’t the solution, but curiosity can be. When we meet a new client and we have our “why”s for the work we do – when we have a foundation of understanding that comes from experience – we are much more able to answer the question “What do I do next?” with creativity and an authenticity that is right for that client. This is something a protocol can never give us.

Presence is the Practice

When I was a new therapist and facilitator, I relied more heavily on activities and the specific approaches I was trained to deliver.  They helped me feel confident as I engaged with my clients and my horses – structure felt like safety.  It was an important piece of my journey to have external structure and safety as a brand new therapist; I felt supported enough to dive in with my clients.

What research tells us, though, is that the most effective healing and change comes from presence.  From an authentic connection between two beings where understanding and care flow between them.  What I began to realize was that focusing on a prescribed activity, focusing on whether or not I was “doing things right”, as well intentioned as they were, interfered with my ability to be present.

What really helped me evolve into the therapist I am now (and am still becoming) was creating a foundation of understanding and skills from solid theory, science, and experience from practice.  The tools alone do not make me a good therapist, it is my prior wrestling with “why”, the experiences I have gone through to develop myself, and the ongoing practice I engage in, that make me effective.

Knowing why helps me select my approach, knowing why helps me understand when to change course. It is this foundational work that has made me – and made it possible for me to sit with, be with, my clients and my horses.  It was then, in that genuine presence, that I really listened to my clients, listened to my horses, and could respond and guide them with curiosity and care. This is how we connected, this is how my clients really began to heal – from my informed presence.

Now of course, I am not perfect at this, but perfection isn’t the goal. Connection is the goal.   In my sessions, being present, really listening, being available and open – these are the things I practice – the rest (the knowledge, the toolbox, the theory) is muscle memory born from hours of prior (and ongoing) development.

Roots Before Wings

There is this idea, this image, of roots and wings – that in order to live a fulfilling life we need both.  We need a strong foundation, a set of beliefs that sustains us, values that guide us, principles that ground us – so that we are not tossed about in every storm.  But, we also want wings – we want to feel free and unimpeded, to overcome obstacles, to be creative and open, and find our own way. Nurturing strong roots gives us the support we need to grow our wings, to stretch them and lift off.

In order for us to be strong facilitators, it is our root system we must nourish and make strong. The wings we seek come as a by-product.  

It reminds me of one aspect of the research done on secure attachment – on toddlers.  It was found that the secure children, the ones who felt confident to move out into the world and explore, to try new things and be open to experience were the ones who had a secure base to return to. As they walked away from their secure base, they could look over their shoulders and see someone waiting for them, cheering them on.  This security in their base allowed them to spread their wings.

In research, work, and life, we see this truth repeated. A strong foundation gives us the confidence to reach and grow. A secure base for toddlers allows them to stretch themselves and explore the world. It’s the same for us as practitioners—and for our beloved Texas trees.

Here at Natural Lifemanship, we’ve been learning from the trees on our property – from how they have fallen, how they have remained standing tall, and every tree in between. The lessons they offer are powerful. The trees that survive the challenges Texas has faced are the ones that prioritize their roots.

This is what we strive to do in our Fundamentals of Natural Lifemanship training. We help you develop the deep, strong, connected roots you need to navigate the unpredictability of working with humans and equine partners alike. There is no formula for this. It’s a practice that requires presence.

If you’re ready to strengthen your foundation and nurture the roots that will sustain your growth over the long haul, we invite you to join us. Register now for Fundamentals, or join us for a webinar on January 18th to learn more.