When it comes to equine-assisted services, we often focus on the profound emotional and psychological breakthroughs that happen when humans and horses connect. We celebrate the moments when a client finds their voice, builds confidence, or processes trauma through their relationship with these magnificent equine partners. But there’s something fundamental we’re missing in many conversations about this work—something that determines whether these breakthroughs happen at all.
Your body is speaking, whether you realize it or not, and the horses are listening.
The Language Horses Understand Best
When we engage with a horse, we enter a conversation that precedes spoken language. Horses are hardwired to read the subtle communications of movement, posture, and energy that reveal intention, emotional state, and even past experiences. They don’t care about your credentials, your therapeutic techniques, or your carefully crafted treatment plans. They care about what your body is telling them at this moment.
This creates both an incredible opportunity and a significant challenge for those of us working in equine-assisted services. The opportunity lies in the immediate, honest feedback horses provide about our internal states. The challenge is that most of us have never been trained to understand what our bodies are actually communicating.
We live in a culture that has taught us to separate the mind from the body, to treat physical wellness as distinct from mental health. But here’s what science tells us: our brain, body, and nervous system develop together from the very beginning.
In utero, it’s not that the brain develops first and then tells the body to move. Rather, the body begins moving in reflexive patterns, and it’s through this movement that neural pathways form.
Movement builds the brain. And trauma, by altering our movement patterns, reshapes our neural landscape in ways that affect how we think, feel, and relate to the world.
Trauma Changes the Way We Move
When trauma occurs, the body adapts. These adaptations are often protective, and they are usually unconscious.
We see this played out in the bodies of trauma survivors—shoulders turned inward, eyes cast downward, feet turned inward with toes curled toward the midline. This particular posture, interestingly, mirrors one of our earliest intrauterine movements, when a developing baby moves into the protective fetal position.
When someone lives in this contracted, protective posture consistently, they’re not just physically small—they’re emotionally and energetically small too. They’ve learned to make themselves quiet, invisible, safe. And horses, with their exquisite sensitivity to body language and energy, respond to this communication immediately.
A Story of Change
One of our clients, a woman in her 40s, came to us with a history of early and repeated trauma. Her body moved in a way that reflected her past. She walked with her head down, her shoulders rounded, and her toes curled slightly inward. She carried herself as if trying to disappear.
When she made requests of the horses, they ignored her. Some even pushed her out of their space.
Rather than focusing on what she was saying, we focused on how she was moving. We worked with developmental movement patterns—specifically, the push and reach patterns that help restore a sense of agency. These patterns are part of what we teach in the Embodied Developmental Movement Series.
This wasn’t about telling her how to stand. Instead, we invited her to explore “push” in her body – her ability to push into the earth for support, and her experience of pushing on an object, or another person, to rediscover her internal strength. In exploring “push”, we also explore the felt sense of “I am here”.
As she practiced these movements, her nervous system began to shift. Her stance changed. Her energy became more organized.
We didn’t ask her to stand a certain way, we helped her find what she needed to hold herself tall.
Eventually, the horses started to respond to her differently. They began to listen, to connect, and to willingly choose to cooperate with her requests.
The change was not just physical, it was emotional and relational. And it began in the body.
Subtle Adjustments Make a Big Impact
Another client, an executive with a high level of anxiety, presented a different movement pattern. On the surface she appeared confident, straight-backed with her head up. But her movement told a more complex story.
When she reached toward her horse, her weight shifted backward. Her knees were locked, and she stood heavily on her heels. She believed she was grounded. In truth, she was leaning away.
With gentle guidance, she softened her knees and allowed her full foot to meet the ground. For the first time, she felt her toes. This simple change brought her into a more neutral and balanced position. Her horse responded with a deep breath and moved toward her.
That moment marked a turning point. By learning to move in a more integrated way, she experienced a deeper sense of connection—with herself and with her horse. A shift she couldn’t help but take into the rest of her relationships.
Retained Reflexes and Incomplete Patterns
We also see clients who carry reflexes that were never fully integrated during development. (Sometimes it is just a part of themselves who carries the reflex.) The Moro reflex, for example, is a startle response that should complete in infancy. When it remains active, it can show up in adult clients as sudden backward movement, difficulty recovering from surprise, or heightened reactivity.
In equine sessions, this often becomes visible during mounted work. If a horse makes a sudden stop or shift, the client may flinch backward and struggle to return to center. These reactions are not about the horse. They are rooted in the body’s unprocessed history.
By working with these reflexes in an intentional manner, we help clients build the capacity to stay present. We help them complete movements that were never allowed to finish.
A Change the Horses Can See
The people we work with often begin to feel change in their bodies before they see it reflected in their lives. In traditional relationships, others may take time to notice or trust a person’s transformation.
But horses notice right away.
When a client stands more grounded, breathes more deeply, or moves with intention, the horse responds immediately. That response builds trust. It reinforces the change. It gives the client something to hold onto when the outside world is slower to catch up.
This is one of the reasons equine-assisted work is so powerful. It allows clients to experience the impact of their healing as it happens.
The Role of the Practitioner
To do this work well, we must become students of movement. We need to understand how the body was designed to move, how trauma alters that movement, and how we can guide clients in regaining patterns that support regulation and connection.
Across four progressive trainings, we explore the motor patterns and reflexes that shape human development. We practice observing the body with care and clarity. And we learn how to support small, intentional shifts that lead to meaningful transformation.
The work of developmental movement is about connecting with our most basic, and pervasive, way of experiencing the world. As a facilitator, we can observe gesture, posture, gait, breath, patterns of tension and collapse, and so much more.
We can lean into the subtle nuances of how our clients move through their world, and rebuild patterns from the ground up that support health and harmony.
When you become more fluent in the language of movement, you gain new tools for healing. And you help your clients discover what it means to be fully present in their own bodies—and in their relationships.
Healing rooted in the body
When we help someone move differently, we help them live and connect differently. That is the heart of this work.
If you already practice a somatic lens with your clients, these trainings will add to your toolbox and enrich your skills. See more in your client’s subtleties, get to the root of the issue faster, and have more ways to creatively bring integration and clarity to your sessions.
If you are new to somatic work, or are unsure about your scope of practice, these trainings can offer you what you need to have a solid foundation to offer clients. By attending all four trainings, you create your somatic movement scope of practice.
If you are ready to deepen your practice and explore the intelligence of movement, we invite you to explore the Embodied Developmental Movement Series with Mark Taylor and Bettina Shultz-Jobe and join us.
“100% the best training I have ever attended in over a decade of practicing equine assisted psychotherapy!” – Jacquelyn Kaschel, Eagala Adv. MH/ES
The Personal Immersion is my favorite training that we offer at Natural Lifemanship. There, I said it.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I LOVE all our trainings…the Fundamentals with all those fresh hearts and minds! The Intensive with the deeply personal dive into building consensual relationships! The Relationship Logic with its quiet, nuanced fine tuning! The Rhythmic Riding with all that movement and rhythm!! I could go on and on. But still, the Personal Immersion is just so powerful, personal, and holistic….I really cannot get enough!
Which is why I was dreaming of our next PI coming up in March, and decided to peruse our evaluations from the past Personal Immersions we have offered. We are always evolving our work here at NL, continued personal and professional growth is a deeply held value for us. And so I wanted to look back over our evaluations and get a snap shot of where we need to keep growing.
Y’ALL. I was blown away by these testimonials!
Reading these words brought tears to my eyes and warmth to my core. I just LOVE this training! I wanted to share some of the testimonials with you in case you’ve been curious about the Personal Immersion. Here’s one from Emily…
The Personal Immersion is life-changing! I would recommend anyone who is in a helping role attend. Even years later, I am feeling the positive effects of having attended. It was a spark that set ablaze the growth in my healing journey in places where I was stuck. I am still thankful for how I’ve grown. -Emily
We call it a training, but it is more of a retreat, really. Our time spent in the small group (8 people max!) is highly experiential – The PI is an incredibly safe (and brave!) immersion into curiosity about one’s own patterns, strengths, and tender places – as well as movement and connection to support healing and repair – body, mind, and soul. Our goal is to support students in learning about attachment by accessing their own attachment wounds and strengths.
You cannot take someone where you have never been
We are called to develop ourselves if we are going to take someone else on a personal journey. I feel this so strongly, and believe our PI helps practitioners really embody necessary skills for their own healing, and for working with others.
Natural lifemanship is a space where you can explore, grow, and learn in a safe, supported environment. They care about you as a person first, and a professional second. If you are looking to journey deeper into yourself and experience what true relationship feels like, this is the place to do it! -Amy Fox
Ugh! How amazing are those words – it takes me back to all those moments at the PI when we are in some deep stuff, and the group just radiates support and love. It’s like nothing else I have ever experienced. The work that takes place in the 4 days we gather together for this training is so holistic and so intentional, I feel it every time I am there.
The Natural Lifemanship model is so deep, so moving, and so life changing for both people and the animals we are able to connect with. I wish everyone could be so gentle and loving in their approach to relationships of all kinds. – Wendi Morin
Guidance and support every step of the way
The Personal Immersion was painstakingly crafted over years – drawing from a variety of skill sets and experiences. Each trainer brings a unique perspective, yet all are grounded in a desire to put connection first, in every moment. Honestly, we get rave reviews about our wonderful facilitators…here are just a few…
The quality of instruction was inspiring. Both as a team and individually each practitioner shared their gifts and strengths. Everyone was so kind, supportive, insightful, and professional.
AMAZING!!!! All of the instructors, each and every one, was valuable, authentic, supportive, and loving.
All the facilitators were super attuned, compassionate, and highly skilled. I can not stress this enough. It was life changing!
I would describe the quality of instruction as excellent, intentional, and effective. Every minute, every activity was so thoughtfully planned. I am grateful beyond measure.
With the caring guidance of 6 (yes, SIX!) trainers, our participants (only 8) are supported in digging deeply into their own experience. Through a connected and supportive group, time in nature, somatic and equine assisted activities, and a lot of rhythm, participants are invited to explore what it really means to be securely attached. To tend to all parts of themselves. To support others from a confident and calm inner strength. To access their own wisdom and bring it forth for healing.
Anxious about doing this work on yourself? You are not alone!
I was anxious about exploring this core issue of attachment but I also knew it was what I needed for myself and to better support clients on their journey. The setting and the wonderful staff provided safe, heartfelt and playful opportunities to explore the deep well of attachment. I’m so glad I took the risk – this experience continues to have a positive ripple effect in my personal and work life. -Janice Stump, MSW Peace Ranch
The Personal Immersion is the most holistic offering of Natural Lifemanship principles we have on our calendar. This is a 4 day immersion into the feel of NL – from the environment, to the pacing, to the activities, the conversations, the meals, and the rituals and connections – the Personal Immersion walks the walk of NL.
Will you walk with us?
I’ll leave you with one more testimonial. This one brings tears to my eyes and reminds me of why Natural Lifemanship exists. Thank you, Shayla, for this beautiful statement.
The NL Personal Immersion training is an experience that will be ingrained in my heart forever. The way the trainers and attendees showed up in physical presence as we learned about and leaned into being fully embodied was unexpectedly powerful, and the levels in which I was met and awakened mentally, emotionally, and spiritually are matchless. I was drawn to this training for personal reasons and have no doubt that my awareness and growth in that area will overflow into my professional realm as well. I’m so thrilled to not only have opened my heart and mind to this training, but to have experienced it, because what filled my space was (and still is) soul stirring. It felt like coming home… to an internal place of residence I always knew dwelled deep inside, but didn’t know how to access it. If you’re looking for a special place to feel seen, heard, and valued in ways that will uplift and validate you, look no further. – Shayla Anderson
This training sells out every time we offer it, and for good reason! As helping professionals, we join clients through some of their most challenging moments. Yet as humans, we experience plenty of our own challenging moments as well. Intimately knowing these aspects of the human experience makes us better clinicians! Join us for the Personal Immersion at NL Headquarters from March 13 – 16, 2025. Register now.
We have had some chaotic weather in Texas these last few years – long stretches of drought, periods of extreme heat, sudden flooding rains, and then without much warning, extreme cold.
All of us feel the strain of this uncertainty, and our beloved trees in Texas are no exception.
In the last two years since moving to the NL Headquarters, we have lost an extensive amount of trees, throughout Texas, and on our own property. Our trees are breaking off at the branches, pulling up from the roots, and dropping at an alarming rate.
Here in Brenham, Texas we love our trees. The Texas live oak can live over 1,000 years. It is green year round, as it drops its leaves in the spring at the same time that it buds new growth. There is something about these trees that inspires wonder and a confirmation deep in my soul that I am a tiny, yet very important part of something much bigger than we can ever imagine.
We are working hard to care for this place, this property, these trees. We invited an arborist from Texas Tree Services to help us keep our trees strong. What he told us really resonated with me. If the trees are to handle the rapid changes and the lack of predictability, now more than ever, they have to put their energy toward the growth of their root systems. The roots have to go deeper and wider.
Many of our trees have thrown energy into stretching their branches, and haven’t built themselves a strong foundation of roots. (It makes sense that they have done this – the way the rain has fallen and the weather has changed, the trees are going through rapid growth cycles – behavior always makes sense in context). This is going to take a significant investment of time and financial resources. The arborist will trim back the excess, while also deeply nourishing the root systems of our trees with a specially designed formula and protocol to encourage the roots to grow, while greatly limiting the outward growth of the tree for up to 3 years, in hopes that our trees will be able to weather future storms with a stronger root system.
The arborist will not make the mistake so many of us make in search of a quick fix – applying nitrogen-rich synthetic fertilizers that stimulate leaf and woody growth causing even more stress on the tree. In Texas, we have lost over 1 BILLION trees in the last 20 years. When trees survive a stressful event, they become vulnerable to secondary threats like insects, fungi, and parasites. So, while the quick fix is tempting, it only makes matters worse.
We have to grow our roots
You can see the metaphor here, right? We talk about strong foundations a lot at Natural Lifemanship. We are always asking ourselves, what really builds a strong root system? What is necessary? What is integral? Are we being true to our values, our beliefs, our roots? We find this topic so important that we even have a conference coming up in April that digs into these questions of roots, foundations, basics…
Just like our arborist, we have put great care into developing the formula, the protocol, if you will, needed to build a strong foundation, because we understand that quick fixes and unfettered outward growth only make matters worse. The trees in Texas offer a foreboding story of what happens when our root systems are not strong enough to handle the stress of our times. They also tell us a beautiful story of hope, of what is possible when our foundation carries the breath and depth needed to heal, grow, and thrive.
The Fundamentals
This is also why we call our level one training the Fundamentals of Natural Lifemanship. It is an attempt at creating a strong foundation for our students, so they can weather the ever evolving and unpredictable nature of working with animals and humans. We cannot give our community a perfect road map of the future challenges, but with a solid foundation of theory, knowledge, and practice, we know each of our students can weather future storms. When we can answer “why?” then the rest of the path unfolds as it needs to, without our forcing it.
In the Fundamentals, we begin by offering necessary information on the neurobiology of mammals, and humans specifically – we present learning on the topics of human development, attachment, equine science, trauma, and healing relationships. This information fuels our approach in session because we have a better understanding of why people and animals behave the way they do, and what they need in order to make different choices. Some of this information challenges old beliefs many of us carry – so we offer time for processing, reflection, questioning, and then finally, simple activities to put this new learning into practice (we call these two activities ‘attachment with connection’ and ‘detachment with connection’).
It is through this practice of connection during attachment (physical closeness) and detachment (physical distance), and through the conversations and the experiences with peers, trainers, and horses, that our students grapple with the fundamental aspects of what it means to grow and heal. The process of trimming away what no longer serves us, and deepening into a new understanding – not just in a cognitive sense, but in an embodied, rooted way – takes time and practice. We do this so our students can face any challenge that arises, no matter how unpredictable, because they have developed a way of showing up in relationships that is healing. We teach, not a thing to do or a formula to follow, but a reason and a way to be.
Leading with “Why”
Our intention is to offer principles that help our students ask, and then answer, the question “Why?” When we know ‘why’ something is, it becomes much clearer what we will do, and how we will do it. We explore why to develop our values and principles – questions like, why have I chosen to add horses to my work? Why do people struggle in relationships? Why do I choose one intervention over another?
As we engage in practice we lead with ‘why’ so we remain curious – why did my horse respond that way? Why do I feel these sensations in my body? Why do I keep stepping in to control this moment? We develop our beliefs for healing work with horses, and we develop our abilities to stay connected to ourselves and others – so that the “what” and “how” can be more easily answered in the moment.
These questions can feel daunting…but after our students have gained new knowledge, wrestled with their beliefs, and explored principles for healing, knowing what to do becomes much simpler. This foundation fuels the choices made in every client session in the future.
When we are faced with uncertainty like a new client, a new horse, or a new struggle it can be easy to grasp at any thing that might get us over our discomfort. As facilitators, therapists, and equine professionals, these quick fixes may look like strict rules, protocols, or prescribed activities, but, if we have been in this place before, this place of uncertainty, and we know we can handle it, grasping becomes unnecessary.
Moving through the Fundamentals is a time to begin this wrestling with uncertainty, and to hopefully realize that certainty isn’t the solution, but curiosity can be. When we meet a new client and we have our “why”s for the work we do – when we have a foundation of understanding that comes from experience – we are much more able to answer the question “What do I do next?” with creativity and an authenticity that is right for that client. This is something a protocol can never give us.
Presence is the Practice
When I was a new therapist and facilitator, I relied more heavily on activities and the specific approaches I was trained to deliver. They helped me feel confident as I engaged with my clients and my horses – structure felt like safety. It was an important piece of my journey to have external structure and safety as a brand new therapist; I felt supported enough to dive in with my clients.
What research tells us, though, is that the most effective healing and change comes from presence. From an authentic connection between two beings where understanding and care flow between them. What I began to realize was that focusing on a prescribed activity, focusing on whether or not I was “doing things right”, as well intentioned as they were, interfered with my ability to be present.
What really helped me evolve into the therapist I am now (and am still becoming) was creating a foundation of understanding and skills from solid theory, science, and experience from practice. The tools alone do not make me a good therapist, it is my prior wrestling with “why”, the experiences I have gone through to develop myself, and the ongoing practice I engage in, that make me effective.
Knowing why helps me select my approach, knowing why helps me understand when to change course. It is this foundational work that has made me – and made it possible for me to sit with, be with, my clients and my horses. It was then, in that genuine presence, that I really listened to my clients, listened to my horses, and could respond and guide them with curiosity and care. This is how we connected, this is how my clients really began to heal – from my informed presence.
Now of course, I am not perfect at this, but perfection isn’t the goal. Connection is the goal. In my sessions, being present, really listening, being available and open – these are the things I practice – the rest (the knowledge, the toolbox, the theory) is muscle memory born from hours of prior (and ongoing) development.
Roots Before Wings
There is this idea, this image, of roots and wings – that in order to live a fulfilling life we need both. We need a strong foundation, a set of beliefs that sustains us, values that guide us, principles that ground us – so that we are not tossed about in every storm. But, we also want wings – we want to feel free and unimpeded, to overcome obstacles, to be creative and open, and find our own way. Nurturing strong roots gives us the support we need to grow our wings, to stretch them and lift off.
In order for us to be strong facilitators, it is our root system we must nourish and make strong. The wings we seek come as a by-product.
It reminds me of one aspect of the research done on secure attachment – on toddlers. It was found that the secure children, the ones who felt confident to move out into the world and explore, to try new things and be open to experience were the ones who had a secure base to return to. As they walked away from their secure base, they could look over their shoulders and see someone waiting for them, cheering them on. This security in their base allowed them to spread their wings.
In research, work, and life, we see this truth repeated. A strong foundation gives us the confidence to reach and grow. A secure base for toddlers allows them to stretch themselves and explore the world. It’s the same for us as practitioners—and for our beloved Texas trees.
Here at Natural Lifemanship, we’ve been learning from the trees on our property – from how they have fallen, how they have remained standing tall, and every tree in between. The lessons they offer are powerful. The trees that survive the challenges Texas has faced are the ones that prioritize their roots.
This is what we strive to do in our Fundamentals of Natural Lifemanship training. We help you develop the deep, strong, connected roots you need to navigate the unpredictability of working with humans and equine partners alike. There is no formula for this. It’s a practice that requires presence.
These boots are made for workin’ and that’s just what they’ll do. . . 🎶
You can learn so much about a person by the shoes they wear. Really. . . think about it.
I, for example, spend a lot of my time in crocs, Haflinger clogs. . . and round toed, rubber soled, Ariat or Justin cowboy boots (Fat babies or Gypsies to be exact). Each of these need to be replaced about once a year because I wear holes into the soles. My shoes tell you a bit about my willingness to greatly sacrifice style for comfort, my heritage, and my trade, among other things, I’m sure. They tell you about the lifestyle choices I’ve made.
I have a pair of running shoes that I bought almost 20 years ago. I wear them occasionally. There was a time in life I had every kind of flip flop imaginable. I remember wearing a very professional skirt and suit jacket with flip flops. . . and it was appropriate in that situation during that season. I have some heels that I literally have to dust off each time I wear them. I bought a pair of red boots with turquoise tops 20 years ago that are still one of my most prized possessions.
Wouldn’t it be fun to tell our life story through our shoes – just pictures of our shoes on a timeline? I think I’d love that.
People. Horses. And Healing.
I remember the day I realized that I had found what I was going to dedicate my life to.
People. Horses. And Healing.
The light was shining through the sliding glass doors that created one wall of our ground floor living room apartment. There was this little wicker couch with heavy boucle cream colored upholstery from the 80’s and a sage colored papasan chair I’d bought at Pier 1. We had gotten most of our furniture from Thrift stores and my roommate’s artwork was hung on the walls. Even today, the print of Beth’s clay pots hangs in my office.
I had just gotten back from a 6 month break from Denver Seminary. Due to a complete faith crisis coupled with a nasty break-up, I had decided to move to Massachusetts with my sister to live in a primarily Buddhist community and learn about a cancer diet my mother had dedicated herself to after a bout with ovarian cancer. (But this is a story for another time). I had just returned to Denver Seminary to finish my Masters in Counseling when I stumbled upon this career that has become my life’s work.
10-year-old Bettina with Mr. Ed
Coming Back to Horses
I am one of the lucky girls whose first love was my Dad. He loved horses, so I am also one of the lucky girls whose second love was my horse, Mr. Ed. I loved that horse and I have always believed that he loved me – he at least went to great lengths to keep me safe.
When I was 15 years old he and his pasture mate, Babydoll, were both hit by cars on a foggy Florida morning. (This too is a story for another day) For me, this was the beginning of a long hiatus from horses. My father tried to get me the palomino I had always wanted but we couldn’t really afford it, and I was far too heartbroken to build a relationship with another horse.
Anyway, as the sun came through those glass doors in that little apartment, on the heels of a renewed commitment to finish the path I had begun at Seminary, I felt myself drawn back into relationship with my second love. I have heard many stories about the thin moments people in this field experience when they realize they can help people with the help of horses.
They can get a new office among the animals and nature they love.
They can wear their boots to work!
I’ve also heard many stories about people who “came back to horses” through this field. I often hear bits of my story in the stories of others. For many of us, this is a dream and a coming home.
Buy the Boots
The first person I called when I’d found my calling was my Dad. He was so excited for me and with me. One of the first things he said was, “We have to get you some new boots!” There is certainly more to the story, but the brown boots with the yellow tulips you see at the top of this blog are the boots he got me at the very beginning of this transformative journey I have been so blessed to have found. I have been honored to watch many, many new practitioners come into this field to find their calling and their passion. Almost always, one of the first things they do is buy the boots. Seriously, I’ve seen it over and over again. We all wear different boots for very specific reasons.
Y’all this field is much harder to get started in than more typical office therapy, coaching, etc. We have to do quite a bit more than hang out a shingle, but it’s simpler to get started than most people think. Yeah, you need a horse. Yeah, you need some sort of space to be in with a horse and person. Yeah, you need some education, but I am here to tell you that none of these things need to be perfect for you to start. Lots has happened over the last 20 years, but first I bought the boots, and I’m so glad I did. Wearing my boots to work most days is a lifestyle choice I will never be sorry I made.
Walk with us
If it is your desire to come to horses or to come back to horses and help people heal and grow through the powerful connection that can be formed between horse and person, I say buy the boots! That’s the first step to getting started. If you want to know the next steps, we’re going to be diving into exactly what you need to do to get started in this business in our upcoming webinar on January 18th at 5:00 pm Central. Register here!
Building a strong foundation, from the boots up, is the best place to begin. If you’re eager to make 2024 the year you really dig deep into this work, I want to personally invite you to join us for our upcoming Fundamentals of NL. Registration happens to be open right now and there is no better time to begin than right now. Learn more about Fundamentals and join us.
Maybe one day you can tell the story about how you found your way into the coolest niche field ever simply by showing us the shoes you wore to work in 2023 and shoes you wore to work in 2024. Wouldn’t that be amazing?!
P.S. These boots are made for workin’ and that’s just what they’ll do . . . 🎶
I hope this song is now stuck in your head because, 1. It’s been stuck in mine for weeks and I need some company, and 2. It’s a great beatem’ up song to sing on the days you need some serious power to get through, because even dreams and miracles require a lot of work, and some days will be hard. Sometimes you have to pull yourself up by your bootstraps, so the boots you wear are super important! Buy the Boots!
Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue. My sentimental heart loves this sweet little rhyme.
I’m generally not superstitious, but I do love tradition. I find safety, connection, and predictability in this passing on of customs and beliefs. For generations, brides and grooms have abided by this list as a way to incorporate cherished people, objects, and memories into a sacred ceremony. Arguably, the most sacred of all ceremonies. A ceremony about new beginnings, new life, love, and commitment.
Rooted in Tradition
At our wedding, I wore my mother’s wedding dress, new shoes, and a turquoise necklace Tim had given me. Almost all of the decorations at our wedding were borrowed from many dear friends who contributed to our special day in precious ways.
When Natural Lifemanship formed a relationship with That’s the Dream Ranch, it was a new beginning for us, a wedding of sorts. This partnership is all about love and commitment and the building of a new life for our family, our business, and our community. The renovating and remodeling of the thirty year old, mostly furnished 12-bedroom inn, that we now call the NL HomePlace, was a labor of love – so much labor and so much love went into every single room. I have said many a time that each room has something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue – like any sacred experience should.
So, what is meant by this little rhyme? This Old English rhyme dates back to the 19th century and all meanings are just theory, so here are mine.
Something Old
I’m a huge fan of antiques – objects with a story that tether us to the past. Sometimes it feels easier to just burn it all and start fresh, but when we do that we lose the wisdom of those who have come before us. The wisdom of our fellow travelers who have prepared the way for us – who have walked the paths we tread. We also lose the profound learning and joy that comes when we repair a relationship, a life. . . or an armoire. Throughout the Inn we have done the painful work of choosing what goes, deciding what to keep, and what needs repair. Each room has something old – something from the past to remind you that you are not alone. Something with a story.
Something New
There’s nothing like the smell of a new car, a new saddle, a new home. Let’s face it, the musty smell of something old is no joke. The ozone machine has become an important member of the NL team here at the ranch. Something new represents hope for the future and an acceptance of where we are now – what is. The new allows us to embrace change and progress and possibility. As we purchased new furniture, bedding, and artwork, I held the belief close to my chest that healing is possible and that the old can be repurposed in a way that plays well with the new.
Something Borrowed
We need each other. We need support. Something borrowed is about having the humility to ask for help and accept support and nurture from others. It’s also about community and family – the kind we create. I have always dreamed of living in a neighborhood, where I could run next door to borrow a cup of sugar or a stick of butter. It is our dream to create this kind of home for you. Each room has something borrowed – something our NL family has contributed to our grand purpose.
Something Blue
Specifically, turquoise. . . the NL turquoise. Well, this is just good taste! Need I say more?
Welcome Home
It is our deepest desire that when you come through the gates of the NL Headquarters, you feel something right away. When you step foot on our land and cross the threshold of your bespoke room, you feel an energy that prepares. An energy that pierces your soul and prompts your heart to say, “I am safe here. I am protected. I am ready – to learn, to grow, to heal, and to transform.”
It is our desire that this place, our HomePlace, prepares the way – for profound growth that even extends to those whose feet may never touch this land – those whose lives you touch. Your life is our legacy – a responsibility we take very seriously and hold with great tenderness.
We have prepared this place so that you may find what your soul seeks – maybe a new beginning, a bit of healing and growth, a renewed sense of love for and commitment to yourself and others. May you connect with the deep history of this place, and with those who have come before you. May you find hope. May you be supported and nurtured. And may you grow to love turquoise. . . because that’s just good taste. 😉
May you be at home here. May you find true belonging here, at your HomePlace.
Also, if you register for an in-person training at the NL Headquarters in Brenham, Texas before December 31st of this year you will get free onsite lodging in our little inn.
In 2020 the NL team got together on Zoom for a Christmas party. One of our trainers, Courtney White, guided us in a very robust and super competitive scavenger hunt. I’ll spare you most of the details, but, basically, The Jobe family won. Just sayin’ *shrug shoulders*.
I’m fairly certain we left our friendly competition in the dust when we were the first to find “poop” in our house. As it turns out, Cooper had coprolite in his bathroom. Petrified poop won the game! It really was fun. Truly.
Since we couldn’t be in-person.
At Interconnected 2020, our first online conference, we connected through movement and music at the beginning of each day and through Fireside Chats (with an actual fire on our end) each evening. Each of us made nature mandalas in our little part of the world and shared pictures of them with each other. Our entire community went to great lengths to connect through the distance. It really was amazing.
Since we couldn’t be together in-person.
In 2021, at our Love and Grief conference, which was also online, I remember several powerful moments of intense connection, where with tears in our eyes, we felt deep in our bones that we were attended to. We knew that we were not alone. We held grief in one hand and love in the other, and we were changed. It, truly, was beautiful.
Since we couldn’t be together in-person.
Fast forward to 2023, our most recent in-person experience, the NL Sacred Landscapes conference. Imagine 75 people walking silently at dusk, some with lanterns, some with drums, some sprinkling cornmeal and tobacco or anointing oil as they moved. Our intention was to christen our community in our new home at the NL Headquarters and to bless the land that holds us.
We began by listening to Mary Oliver play the kalimba – a sound we not only heard but felt vibrate throughout our entire body. A vibration that can’t be felt online, and that has been shown to have all kinds of physical and emotional benefits.
As we walked, we could hear each other’s steps, breath, the rhythmic friction of our clothes. The science of biological entrainment tells us that our hearts began to beat in rhythm with one another. Our brain waves began to dance in tandem. We certainly didn’t need science to tell us about the powerful energy exchange occurring, but science does happen to support our experience.
It was palpable – it was powerfully felt and no words were needed.
Because we were together in person.
As we came upon the Back Forty at the NL Headquarters, the sun was setting as we watched the silhouette of our horses running across the top of the hill. We all stopped and watched in silence – a thin moment I will never forget. Never. My words don’t do it justice. The pictures don’t even come close to capturing what that moment was like, but those who were there feel it now.
We were changed.
Because we were together in person.
That moment was transcendent and transformative – it is a moment I will continue to come back to throughout my life. We were connected. With each other. To the ground on which we walked. With the sky. The trees. The horses.
This kind of connection changes us. It just does. There is a lot of science to support what happened in that moment, but we didn’t need an explanation because we had an experience.
At the top of the hill we did a calling of the directions to set up a sacred space (within us and around us) to do sacred work. We took a moment to look at each other – mirror neurons firing, co-regulation creating a tremendous amount of safety and nurture, our social neural networks lit up like crazy (if we must employ a bit of science to explain the magic of the moment) – we took a moment to really see our tribe, our people, the people doing this world-changing, legacy building work.
My body is still buzzing as I recall our time together, in person.
As we walked the rest of the way home, I could hear people sniffling or openly weeping. We were together. Research suggests what we already know to be true – being physically together simply can’t be replaced online. It just can’t. Our physical bodies need each other to survive, to grow, and to heal. My heart needs your heart – literally – and yours needs mine.
Research shows that if we are within 6 feet of each other our hearts will start to beat in rhythm. My eyes need your eyes. When we are physically together, eye contact affects our pupils and field of vision which affects our nervous system. My nervous system needs your nervous system, the electromagnetic field of your body, to regulate. It’s how our bodies work. My brain needs your brain. When we are within about 6 feet of each other, our brain waves begin to entrain. Mirror neurons fire like mad when we communicate face-to-face – it’s not the same online.
In a very physical sense, we need each other.
I am so thankful for zoom and online learning. Truly. It has made NL so much more accessible. It has provided a way for us to disseminate so much more information, but research shows that it can’t replace face-to-face interactions. It CAN powerfully augment them. It is certainly a powerful alternative when in-person experiences are not possible.
Online learning has made it more feasible for us to focus on the experience you get when you take the time to be with us, because you have already learned foundational information online. I love and deeply appreciate online learning, and I believe we can embody what we learn online.
Embodied online learning is a practice. That said, most of the time some in-person experiences are necessary to move beyond practice to embodiment – we must all wisely choose which experiences we will do while being held by the energy of place and person.
Nowadays, we CAN be physically together.
Place matters. We prepared a place for you. People matter. We are thrilled to serve you, be with you, and walk with you.
This year we want to make it possible for you to be with us, in person, at your NL home. When you register before December 31st at midnight for an in-person training in 2024, onsite lodging at the NL HomePlace Inn will be included in your registration fee.
We hope to be with you in 2024.
Welcome Home.
Check out our winter and spring 2024 calendar here.
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