by Laura McFarland | Apr 10, 2023 | Applied Principles, Basics of Natural Lifemanship, Case Studies, Personal Growth, The Latest in Equine Assisted Therapy and Learning
We are beyond thrilled to share an amazing new resource for the field edited by Cheryl Meola. We had the honor of contributing severals chapters to this book. When she approached us about contributing chapters, Cheryl said she wanted this book to be a resource for people newly entering the field of equine-assisted services. We were asked to write in a “newbie”-friendly way. That said, we believe this book is equally valuable for seasoned professionals and for those new to the field.
Here is a list of the book’s chapters with the titles we contributed in blue:
-
- Natural therapeutic aspects of horses by Cheryl Meola and Malaika King Albrecht
- The evolution of equine-assisted services (EAS): horses are good for people by Lorrie Renker, Octavia Brown and Pebbles Turbeville
- Horse Speak and Partnership by Sharon Wilsie and Laura Wilsie
- Relational Equine-Partnered Counseling (REPC) by Hallie Sheade
- An in-depth approach to relational work with equines: Natural Lifemanship by Bettina Shultz-Jobe and Kathleen Choe
- Breathing into relationships: the HERD Institute approach to equine-facilitated psychotherapy by Veronica Lac
- Side-to-side astride: the benefits and challenges of equine mounted work in trauma processing by Susanne Haseman
- Blended therapy modalities in equine-assisted psychotherapy: integrating equine-engaged internal family systems (EE-IFS) and equine-connected eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EC-EMDR) by Jenn Pagone and Kathleen Choe
- Medical therapy (OT, PT, SLP) enhanced with hippotherapy by Joann Benjamin, Ruth Dismuke-Blakely and Karen Gardner
- The Equus Effect: a road to regulation through equine-assisted learning by Jane Strong, David Sonatore and Elizabeth E. Lloyd-Richardson
- Serving those who served…and still serve by Tara Mahoney
- Beyond mind and body: spiritual connections in equine-assisted services by Kathleen Choe and Laura McFarland
- Be the Horse’s Advocate by C. Mike Tomlinson
- Enhancing the horses voice: incorporating Horse Speak into psychotherapy by Susanne Haseman, Sharon Wilsie and Laura Wilsie
- Exploring socio-emotional and cognitive development in horses by Tim Jobe, Tanner Jobe and Rebecca J. Hubbard
- Not just horsing around: an equine professional’s guiding principles by Malaika King Albrecht
- The role of the equine professional in equine-assisted services by Tim Jobe, Tanner Jobe and Reccia Jobe
- Heart centered horsemanship: the horse trainer’s perspective in EAS by Stacey Carter
- A holistic perspective: My transformative journey through Natural Lifemanship by Sarah Willeman Doran
- Are we there yet? The ongoing journey of healing for the healers by Kathleen Choe
- Interventions and strategies toward mental health and wellbeing for professionals by Aviva Vincent and Joanna Robson
- Starting or restarting an equine-assisted services organization: Don’t put the cart before the horse by Nancy Paschall
- The key to a successful non-profit board by John Matthew Kundtz
- How do you know it works: Evaluating equine-assisted service programs by Maureen MacNamara
- Bridging research and practice in equine-assisted services by Kimberly I. Tumlin
- Conclusions and future directions
Each chapter in this book is contributed by an expert in the field and provides an overview of the topic plus concrete examples and helpful resources. We are so proud to have been a part of this effort and cannot recommend this book strongly enough!
Psst…when you order the book through the links in this article, we earn a small affiliate commission. This transparency is important to us, but since we contributed to the book, you know we recommend it whole-heartedly!
by Bettina Shultz-Jobe, LPC, NBCC | Mar 6, 2023 | Applied Principles, Basics of Natural Lifemanship, Horsemanship, Personal Growth, Testimonials & Reflections
This week, we opened registration for the NL Intensive. One of the big questions we always get from our community is how the NL Intensive is different from the Fundamentals of NL.
The simple answer: Fundamentals teaches you a new way of thinking about your relationship with horses, people and yourself. The Intensive teaches you a new way of being.
The Intensive is the point in your learning that represents a complete and total paradigm shift. It’s when the old ways of doing, being and showing up are set aside and the new ways of being take root.
So, how did we come about this way of teaching and embodying the principles of Natural Lifemanship? It all began with my partner in life and in this business, Tim Jobe, in 1986 at West Texas Boys Ranch. Here is a snippet of Tim’s story.
In 1986, Tim was running a 40,000 cattle ranch when he decided to take a new job. There was a 5,000 acre farming ranch in West Texas that needed an experienced horse trainer to work with not only the horses, but also 75 displaced boys who lived and worked on the property.
“The horses were really well trained, but the boys couldn’t ride them at all,” Tim said. “Pretty soon, I realized it wasn’t the kids’ fault.”
Growing up, Tim experienced domination, control, and severe abuse in his family of origin. And like all of us, the nature of our earliest relationships extend to our way of thinking and being in our relationships with others, including those with horses.
“These boys didn’t know how to intimidate the horses the way I could,” Tim said. “But I decided that if I was going to be able to get those boys to ride, I had to find another way to interact with my horses – without power, domination and control. I had to help them learn to do the right thing because it was the right thing to do.”
Change your principles, change your techniques
Working at a boys’ ranch, Tim often went to staff meetings with child psychologists and other specialists. As he listened to the principles the psychologists used when working with the boys, he started to wonder why we don’t use these same human relationship principles when we work with horses.
“We have these patterns in our brain for what works when training horses,” Tim said. “We can consciously think about what would work better, but our bodies fall into old patterns so easily in practice. We can’t just destroy everything we knew before – we have to use all the techniques we know work, but with different underlying principles and a different body state.”
“Before starting on this journey, I would ask a horse to do something and just kept increasing the pressure until they did it,” Tim said. “But to do that, they had to quit thinking, quit feeling and just submit to everything I asked them to do.”
“Now, I understand that resistance is just a search for an answer, so when a horse resists, I keep my energy and my intention the same. I offer more connection.” Tim said. “I don’t want to remove my request because then I teach that the way to get your needs met is to resist. I have to maintain my request in a way that makes it safe for the horse to continue to search for answers, because if I increase my energy or the pressure they will submit, appease, or increase the resistance. This is one example of a small change that has made a big difference. . . and took a ton of personal work.”
Embodying the principles of Natural Lifemanship
This new way of being that Tim pioneered back in 1986 was the foundation for the principles Natural Lifemanship is known for today. Along the way, we have met people like you, who want to live in a world where connection and healthy relationships are seen and felt in everything we do.
To live in that world, we have to build it.
When our relationship with horses and people are built on trust, mutual respect, attunement and connection, the healing principles can transfer seamlessly to healthy human relationships with yourself and your clients.
On Thursday, March 9th, Tim Jobe will be in conversation with Kate Naylor about his discovery nearly 40 years ago, the transformation that took root for him during that season, and the personal journey he took to truly embody the principles of Natural Lifemanship – a journey he’s still on today. We hope you’ll join us for that conversation.
If you’re ready to join us on your own journey of personal transformation – and build the world we want to live in – join us for the NL Intensive.
by Bettina Shultz-Jobe, LPC, NBCC | Jan 24, 2023 | Personal Growth
“Every act of creation is first an act of destruction.”
-Pablo Picasso
We often speak about the breaking down of something old, and the rebuilding of something new. A process of transformation. Of repair. Of renewal.
All of which are essential to healing and growth. All of which sound quite lovely, and maybe even trite. . . unless you’ve experienced the breaking down of something old. Literally or figuratively.
You see, a very important part of our growth journey, as an organization, is the longing for space. A deep and growing desire for a place to call ours. A place to invite others from around the world for healing, learning, connection, guidance, reflection, and ultimately renewal.
This place, which we’ve often constructed in our dreams, is finally being built. Yet in the process of actualizing the space that was gifted to us and that we, in turn, are gifting to others – we first faced destruction. Demolition of that which no longer served us, the horses, or the land.
NL Headquarters, Back Forty
The Demolition
In the physical sense, we first engaged in the demolition of over 100 horse stalls that represented an old relationship with horses, one that departs from the relationship principles that we hold dear.
We tore down worn and tired buildings and fence to birth in their places more uplifting and inspiring spaces. While honoring wise and breathtaking trees, and the land that’s invited us here, we cleared dying brush and paved a road where hope could come, grow, and spread—departing back to its home.
The Destruction was Harder than I Expected
Call me naive, but I had this image of a huge wrecking ball knocking everything down, and WHAM! Just like that, the old is leveled. It wasn’t quite like that. It was much more slow and methodical and painful. Imagine squeaky machinery removing parts of buildings bit by bit.
There were moments of intensity, but taking down the old took much more time than I expected. And there was fallout – unintentional damage was done throughout this process. For example, water lines were busted and days were spent repairing this damage. And the clean-up, so much clean-up. . . This took even longer.
Once buildings were removed, the mark on the land still remained. The scar that shows what once was. Some parts of our land are now ready for healing and growth and the process of creating something new!
NL Headquarters, Back Forty
The Repair and the Creation
Honoring the belief that the land’s ability to offer and support healing is in direct proportion to how much the land itself is healed, we have enacted a plan that involves continual pruning, healing, growth, and creation.
We, as people and living beings, heal in the same way the land heals. Sometimes structures that no longer serve us must be identified, broken down, and removed. And it takes the time it takes. No quick fixes or wrecking balls.
My clients are the most amazing and brave people I know. I love it when they reach out to me because they’re ready to do the hard work of healing, and I often remind them that “hurry up and heal” isn’t really a thing. You can’t rush your healing (a song I recently learned from one of our Rhythmic Riding participants).
I have also recently experienced that there are consequences to rushing the destruction and the clean-up. Destruction that is necessary to make way for creation.
Through our collaboration with That’s the Dream Ranch the entire place is beginning to heal.
NL Headquarters, Hay Field
Land is resting and grass is growing. New fences are being built. A new well has been dug. Ponds are being developed to manage erosion. New septics, new windows, drywall, air conditioning units, and on and on.
We are currently in the process of refurbishing the inn, where our guests can rest—and just like caterpillars—prepare for their own metamorphosis. That is, their own destruction and rebuilding.
It is our humble hope that all who enter our gates will experience the safe breaking down of that which no longer serves them and the slow healing and deliberate creation that follows.
People searching for transformation—for themselves and for their clients.
People like you.
Communities like ours.
We look forward to both the demolition and the rebuilding that we will do together as a community.
by Kate Naylor | Jan 9, 2023 | Applied Principles, Basics of Natural Lifemanship, Equine Assisted Trainings, Personal Growth
By Kate Naylor and Bettina Shultz-Jobe
A heartbeat. Waves rolling in and out on a sandy beach. The rising and setting of the sun.
The aroma of your favorite meal. A long walk to clear your head. That sense of joy that comes from swinging on a swing.
Your partner walking in the door at 5 o’clock every day and offering that same greeting they always do. The connection that follows a relational repair. The sound of horses munching on grass.
This is rhythm.
Our bodies and minds crave rhythm. It exists both figuratively and literally in our daily lives, and offers us repeated experiences of predictability in our environments, our relationships, and in our bodies.
Not surprising then, rhythm is one of the three necessary components of trauma informed care as outlined by Dr. Bruce Perry and many other experts in the field of trauma and attachment. Others like Bonnie Badenoch, Dan Siegel, Bonnie Bainbridge Cohen, Pat Ogden, and Bessel van der Kolk emphasize the importance of rhythm in our lives.
Without rhythm, we miss an integral part of the healing puzzle. In fact, we cannot offer Trauma Informed Care without it.
We also experience plenty of moments that are filled with a lack of rhythm, a lack of predictability – times of sensory, environmental, or relational chaos. These moments have an impact on us too.
The practice of creating rhythm in relationships
Recognizing literal and figurative rhythms allows us to use them to enhance our programs, our work with clients, and our own healing work.
Join us for the Fundamentals of Natural Lifemanship to:
- Better understand how sensory rhythm is always affecting us, even in the very beginnings of life
- Rhythmically connect with our bodies and the world around us to regulate the nervous system
- Experience how much the rhythm of our movements matter (especially around horses!)
- Learn the components of rhythmic environments
- Feel how to BE in rhythmic relationships with humans, horses, and other animals
… and how to creatively bring more intentional rhythm into your sessions for effective (and fun!) therapeutic work.
The benefits of rhythm
With more rhythm, you can expect a more regulated mind and body – setting you up for more client progress and less professional burnout.
Pssst…in the Fundamentals, you will also come to understand the other two necessary components of effective trauma informed care!
Improve professional competency, enhance your work, and engage clients in lasting change – with the Fundamentals of Natural Lifemanship.
by Bettina Shultz-Jobe, LPC, NBCC | Dec 15, 2022 | Personal Growth
So, I’m in Walmart, slowly picking up my pace among thousands of frenetic shoppers. I am already walking with a rather brisk stride, but as I eye those next to me I find my feet moving faster and faster the closer I get to the Christmas decorations.
Then I turn. At the end of an aisle of red and green and glittery things I see a huge mound of tree skirts, probably 10 feet tall, and hundreds of people digging through them. I am on a quest to find a beautiful skirt to go around the bottom of my Christmas tree. Evidently, many others are pursuing the same thing.
It must have red and green alternating sections, made of soft and silky velvet, with scalloped edges made of eyelet lace. It must be heavy and luxurious, just like the one my mother made for our family when I was a little girl. I remember wearing it while we decorated the tree and sang to the Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers Christmas album. I think that the year my mother made this beautiful tree skirt she also made us all matching dresses out of the same material.
This is the tree skirt I seek.
As I approach this pile of beautiful tree skirts, people are throwing unwanted skirts behind them. Several land on top of me, blinding me and weighing me down, and more panic sets in. What if I can’t find the one I want – the one I picture. I start ripping through the pile of tree skirts, my palms sweaty, my heart racing, and a lump in my throat – I am terrified. The pile is dwindling so quickly.
Then I see it – the exact tree skirt from my childhood. EXACT. I dive for it, my entire body hitting the floor. The world slows and just as I am about to reach it, someone swoops in and snatches it right out from in front of me. I watch as it disappears into a sea of Christmas shoppers, and I scream out as I weep, pull up my aching body, pick up one of the picked over red and green skirts, and begin to walk back down the aisle from which I came.
The crowd brushing up against me, my body heavy, my broken heart sobbing in my ears. I begin to walk and find myself in an aisle that is dark, quiet, sad, and lonely – I’m not sure how I ended up there, but it feels right.
As I trudge down this aisle, my eyes spot something turquoise, gold, and silver. I blink the tears away so I can see more clearly – as I inch closer, I see the most beautiful tree skirt I have ever seen. Completely different than what I had come for.
And completely perfect. Absolutely, completely perfect. I hug it to my chest and know that this is it.
It was all a dream
I had this dream during a time when Tim and I were trying to figure out how to handle the fact that this thing was happening between us. We tried really hard not to fall in love – it’s a long story I guess. We also tried really hard not to start this business – that’s a long story too.
Shortly after this dream, we officially started dating, and I became obsessed with finding the tree skirt in my dream. I drug Tim to every single store in Amarillo Texas and could not find anything even close. It was one year later that my younger sister, Jamie, and I found it at a trade show of sorts in Austin. A woman there took old upholstery fabric from used furniture and repurposed it.
My entire body filled with goose bumps when I saw it there. It was definitely out of the budget at that time, but I bought it anyway (my sister is often very good at convincing me to purchase things that will make me happy!)
Different and Perfect
It’s totally different than what I originally envisioned, and every year when I put it under the tree I do it with tears in my eyes because I love it so much.
As I place it under the tree I think about the long and lonely journey that led Tim to me. I think about our tree skirt’s journey. I think about our marriage. I think about our children. I think about this life we have built. I think about our business – a lot. I think about our very best of friends and the community we have found through our mission and our passion.
I think about the many people in our lives who have chosen a different tree skirt. We’re cycle breakers – in our families – with our horses – with our businesses. We do it scared. We often walk a lonely path, but we choose something different. . .really different.
And really beautiful.
This year, I put our perfect tree skirt under the tree in our new place in preparation for one of my favorite trainings, the Personal Immersion and it stayed under the tree throughout the season as we welcomed our trainers for the trainer’s retreat. It sits under our tree as a symbol of the resilience of people we would be welcoming into our home, and a symbol of our support of them as they do the hard work of healing and transforming. I thought about their grief and mine, and the things we let go of so we can grab hold of miracles.
by Laura McFarland | Aug 17, 2022 | Applied Principles, Personal Growth
What is Contemplation?
I think therefore I am……
Or is it, I am therefore I think?
If I don’t think, AM I?
Wait! What does thinking have to do with who I am? Or who you are?
Really…
Who AM I?
Who ARE you?
Who are WE?
Surely each of us has pondered these sorts of questions to some degree at some point in our lives. At the very least they may have given us pause (or made our heads spin) in a high school or college philosophy class.
Recently, a friend and colleague posted a wonderful graphic illustrating a tree of contemplative practices currently in use in academic and organizational settings.The tree depicts that there are two essential roots (sources) of contemplation, several limbs (categories of practices), and many, many branches (specific practices). This is such a helpful image because it’s not uncommon to have one notion stuck in our minds, limiting our engagement with a process that we all need more than ever.
Image credit: CMind. (2021). The Tree of Contemplative Practices [Illustration]. The Center for Contemplative Mind in Society. https://www.contemplativemind.org/practices/tree
For example, the word “contemplation” may bring to mind an image of a bald monk in a robe sitting on a meditation pillow. Some would then dismiss it as irrelevant to their lifestyles or their belief systems. Likewise, it may conjure up an image of a person deep in thought, leaving many to assume that contemplation is mainly for philosophers, scientists or artists, or for times when really big decisions require careful discernment.
A Different Way of Knowing
One of the dilemmas in talking about Contemplation (similar to talking about Love, or just about anything for that matter) is that “knowing” it through experience and “knowing about” it intellectually are two very different kinds of knowing. To talk about contemplation (objectively) is not a door into it, generally speaking.
We’ll come back to this, but first let’s start with understanding something about the words, contemplation and contemplate. When wanting to know about something, what better place to start than Google?
When I google “contemplation” or “contemplate”, what first pops up are dictionary definitions:
con-tem-pla-tion (noun)
- the action of looking thoughtfully at something for a long time
- deep reflective thought
- the state of being thought about or planned
If you click “view more definitions”, you also see that contemplation can refer to:
- religious meditation
- (in Christian spirituality) a form of prayer or meditation in which a person seeks to pass beyond mental images and concepts to a direct experience of the divine
con-tem-plate (verb)
- look thoughtfully for a long time at
- think about
- think profoundly and at length; meditate.
It would seem that according to common English usage, the terms contemplation and contemplate are tied to a way of thinking and/or to a spiritual sort of meditation.
This seems like a reasonable objective, surface understanding.
On an experiential level, anyone who has intentionally pursued contemplation might add, contemplation is cultivated through practice.
Contemplation is Cultivated by Practice
If contemplation is cultivated through practice, then what are we cultivating?
- a quality of the action of looking (described as looking thoughtfully at something for a long time)
- a quality of thought (described as deep, reflective thought – which means thought that sees itself, or that is aware of itself)
- a state of being (described as being thought about or planned; but I prefer ‘a state of knowing and being known’ or, ‘a state of being connected’)
So, to define contemplation from the perspective of one who engages in contemplative practice:
Contemplation is a way of seeing, thinking, and being
in relationship to ourselves and to others,
and to the immediacy of each moment –
receiving what is offered
and offering our authentic selves
to each moment and each relationship.
It is about how we move in the dance of Life
Co-creating
THIS present moment
and THIS relationship
by
choosing
and re-choosing
Connection.
Contemplation is the state of knowing and being known, of seeing and being seen.
Contemplation is CONNECTION.
Contemplative practice is the practice of cultivating our capacity for connection.
The anonymous author of the medieval classic, The Cloud of Unknowing, states, “God cannot be thought. God can only be loved.” The contemplative Christian tradition recognizes that the purpose of prayer is relationship. Prayer is a practice of connection. Centering Prayer, which is one type of contemplative practice, begins with my intention to consent to God’s presence and action within me. It is a willingness to remain open to the received experience of one’s connection with God. Buddhists may describe this as a receptivity to fully engage in the experience of the present moment. This is a kind of relationship with reality itself and the universal rhythms that find expression in each phenomenon at each particular moment.
Whether one practices contemplative Christianity or Buddhism, or one of the many other contemplative paths, the practice of contemplation is that of consent. Because our minds will wander, the practice is to continually return to one’s intention to assume the stance of least resistance to the relationship. The intention is to say yes to connection, again and again. This stance requires a different quality of awareness than that of our ordinary consciousness. Maintaining this internal quality of connected awareness has been described as a quivering bead of mercury – collected, but fragile. It easily scatters with too much or too little pressure. In other words, we cannot force ourselves (or others) into this connected quality of being. We must allow ourselves and others to experience this quality of being. It’s not about acquiring; it’s about letting go… consenting, cooperating.
Natural Lifemanship is a Contemplative Practice.
Natural Lifemanship is a practice of cultivating connection in relationships. The process is guided by principles such as:
- The principle of choice (Healthy connection is always a choice; if it’s forced or coerced, it’s not the kind of connection that heals and transforms.)
- The principle of pressure (In the process of cultivating connection, it is my responsibility to be aware of and to manage the pressure that I communicate with my body, my energy, my thoughts, intentions and behavior; this requires A LOT of self awareness and self work. Just like with the quivering bead of mercury, pressure supports connection – but not too much or too little.)
- The principle of attachment and detachment (True connection requires a sense of security in both attachment, which is being with, and detachment, which is being apart. We experience both attachment and detachment in our relationships all the time, including in our relationship with the divine or with universal truth. Contemplative practice avails us to both experiences of connection, simultaneously. We are never more connected with the reality of the present moment than when we let go, neither clinging to nor resisting that which comes into our awareness.)
Natural Lifemanship is a healing, relational process that transforms those who practice it. It is a contemplative practice that builds our awareness of and attunement to ourselves and others. It is a practice by which we learn to let go of our own resistance to connection, even as we help THIS person or THIS horse do the same. We continually ask of ourselves and the other, am I (are you) ignoring the invitation to connect? Am I/are you resisting it? Where does this resistance reside in my body, or in my horse’s body, and when I notice it, can I let it go, or invite them to let it go? Can I be attuned enough to my equine partner to notice tension in his or her body before it even shows up as resistant behavior, and can I meet her with just the right amount of energy at that moment? When she experiences that her resistance isn’t going to push me away, nor is it going to make me resort to power, domination or control, she will find that letting go, even a little, feels amazing. Likewise, I may find that staying present in the discomfort of resistance, or of being ignored, invites me to let go of the well worn patterns that have governed my relationships with others, with myself, and within my spirituality for a very long time.
NL is a relational practice. We help each other assume the stance of least resistance to the deep, rewarding connections that are available to us if only we would consent to them. We get to be that rewarding connection for others and we get to allow others to be it for us.
Learn More
If you are interested in a retreat style experience that explores how contemplative practices can transform your way of being in relationships join us for Natural Lifemanship for Spiritual Connection, October 6-8th, 2022 at the Natural Lifemanship Headquarters in Brenham, TX.
Check out our related blogs:
Spiritual Intimacy Grows with Connection through Detachment
The Gift of Being Our Truest Selves
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