by Tim Jobe | Jan 27, 2016 | Basics of Natural Lifemanship, Horsemanship
I think quite a few of life’s problems are the result of one sided relationships. As we travel the country working with people and horses, the one sided relationship seems all too prevalent. We see people who do everything they can to meet the needs of their horse but never ask the horse to meet any of their needs. I guess the people are getting some need met at some level but the horse is not having to do anything except be present. They feed it, they groom it, and they worm it, provide it with fresh water, and trim its feet all the while asking it to contribute very little to the relationship. When they do actually ask the horse to do something they are met with resistance or the request is ignored. They then seem disappointed that their loving horse is treating them so rudely. They shouldn’t be surprised because that is the way they set up the relationship to begin with. They are often afraid to ask anything of the horse because they are afraid the horse might blow up. So they go about their relationship not asking for anything that might cause a blow up. They somehow justify it by saying things like “It is my responsibility to provide for this horse’s needs because it can’t do these things for itself.” That may be true but it is capable of meeting some of the humans needs also. We believe that a relationship that is not good for one is eventually not good for either. Any time a relationship is one sided it is eventually going to cause some problems.
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by Tim Jobe | May 7, 2012 | Basics of Natural Lifemanship, Horsemanship
Before you start shooting, give me a chance to explain. Would you say that in your marriage your spouse is a mirror? I don’t think I could get away with that. My spouse will react or respond to my emotions, thoughts or feelings, but definitely doesn’t mirror them back to me. I think this also happens in a relationship with a horse. The horse responds or reacts to whatever is going on with me and hopefully I do the same thing for the horse. The horse doesn’t mirror my actions. In fact, horse training would be much easier if only this was the case.
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by Tim Jobe | Apr 9, 2011 | Basics of Natural Lifemanship, Horsemanship
It’s about Relationship
This past weekend I participated in a horse training clinic with two other horse trainers. Both the other trainers are well known in this area and both are very competent at training an unbroken horse. However, both preached long and loud about the importance of being your horse’s leader. When it came my turn to work with a horse, I caused quite the controversy by stating that it is not about leadership, it’s about relationship. One of the other trainers took great offense to that statement and tried to convince me that leadership is a very crucial part of training a horse. I agreed that leadership is extremely important. The horse has to learn how to appropriately lead himself and I have to appropriately lead myself. I appropriately control myself so that the horse can appropriately control himself. That is what relationship is all about. This is a very hard concept for a lot of horse trainers to grasp.
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