by Bettina Shultz-Jobe, LPC, NBCC | Aug 12, 2025 | Basics of Natural Lifemanship, Case Studies
One of the questions I hear most often from students who have completed the Fundamentals of Natural Lifemanship is this:
“How much direction do I give my clients? Do I teach them exactly what I learned in the Fundamentals, or do I let them discover the principles on their own?”
It is an important question, and the answer is not as straightforward as we might hope. The truth is, the answer is both yes and no. It depends. . .
It depends on pacing. It depends on the practitioner’s experience and skillset. It depends on the client’s goals. And it depends on where they are in their process.
This question matters because the way we teach and offer guidance directly shapes a client’s ability to form authentic, healing relationships: with the horse, with others, and with themselves.
Teaching and Guiding
When we teach the Fundamentals, we offer a clearer, more structured path for building connection with the horse. We do this intentionally. Students need a solid foundation to understand how to build safe, connected relationships. We call this the “straighter line.” It helps you build more meaningful connections using principles that are grounded in science and lived experience.
But client sessions rarely follow a straight line. Healing is a winding path that unfolds in its own time. In those moments, the relationship goes beyond technique—it becomes a space for true healing, moving at its own natural pace.
With clients, I often slow things way down. I may teach less, and guide more. I may ask more questions. I may simply hold space. Sometimes it is best for a client to figure out the principles on their own, with my guidance. Other times, it is more helpful to teach them exactly what is learned in the Fundamentals, and then offer support and guidance when difficulty arises.
Both paths can lead to transformation. The key is in discerning which one is needed.
When Guiding Teaches – finding the answer
Tim and I once worked with an eight-year-old girl who had been adopted from the foster care system. Like many of the clients we meet in this work, she had endured an overwhelming amount of trauma. Her ACE score was a ten. And yet, she was the most delightful little munchkin you ever did see—when she smiled, her sweet button nose would wrinkle, lifting her pink glasses up off her face. She was a hot mess, in the very best sense of the word. Her adoptive parents loved her deeply, but they were worried.
In her world, safety had never been familiar. She would wander away from the bus stop and walk into strangers’ homes asking for snacks or to use the bathroom. She wasn’t reckless—just searching for connection in the only ways she knew. Her history had distorted her ability to sense risk.
When we worked with the horse, we didn’t tell her what to do. Instead, we asked questions and let her choose the path. She picked a horse with almost no training and, of course, on day one she wanted to ride. That was her pattern—leap before learning, jump in before reasonably assessing risk.
So we guided, but never handed her the answers. She dragged a saddle that weighed more than she did into the round pen, only to find her horse wouldn’t stand still.
“Have you taught him to stand still?” we asked. “Have you helped him feel safe with a saddle?”
She hadn’t—so she did. She learned about pressure, regulation, energy, and connected detachment. Then she decided to mount, but the horse wouldn’t stand at the block. To get him there, she first had to teach him to follow. That meant practicing connected attachment: backing up when he came toward her, lowering her energy, softening her body.
We talked about how prey animals respond to threats, and she problem-solved how to teach her horse that she is safe – that she is not a predator. She figured out why we back up when the horse looks at us, without us teaching it. She began to practice backing up, lowering her energy, and softening her body. And in doing so, she started to learn what safety looks and feels like—not just from others, but within herself.
Through guided discovery with her horse, she transformed moments of impulsivity into opportunities to experience safety, connection, and self-awareness—learning the principles of relationship from the inside out.
To learn more about some of the ways we guided her to her own answers, instead of teaching her the NL principles of relationship, check out this webinar.
When Teaching Guides – still finding the answer
Another client came to me after the devastating loss of a child. She sought therapy for other reasons (more on that in the webinar), and we were working on establishing connection with the horse.
I taught her exactly what to do: when the horse turns and looks at you, release pressure. Step back. Let your shoulders drop. Exhale. Lower your energy. Create space.
She understood the instructions. She even practiced them without the horse.
But when the moment came, and the horse looked at her, she stood still. Her body would not move. I reminded her gently. Still, she stood frozen.
So we explored what was happening. We tuned into her body. And what we found was this: Backing up required a bit of softening. Softening stirred a fear of collapse. Collapse was an incomplete movement that felt like letting go. Letting go felt like a loss of connection. And for her, that brought her straight back to the raw grief of losing her child.
What began with structured teaching became a doorway into something much deeper. We worked slowly. She started by softening ever so slightly at the knees. She practiced releasing energy in small, safe increments. Over time, she began to feel how softening doesn’t dissolve connection—it can deepen it.
In this case, I taught her clearly. But the transformation happened in the space where her body could not yet follow what her mind knew. That is where the therapeutic work began.
To learn more about how I guided her when her feet simply could not move, I invite you to watch this webinar.
Principles for Practitioners
There is no single right answer when it comes to teaching versus guiding.
Sometimes, clients need structure. Other times, they need a bit more space to explore and problem-solve. The decision depends on their goals, their nervous system state, and their capacity for relational engagement in that moment. It also depends on the practitioner’s comfort with uncertainty and their ability to attune, to both the horse and person.
When I first began this work, I taught a lot. I planned each session carefully, offered clear instructions, and guided clients step by step. And that approach worked—it helped people learn, it created safety, and it opened doors to healing.
Over time, my style evolved. I now step into sessions with fewer plans and more presence. I give less instruction, hold more space, and offer guidance that meets the moment rather than a script.
And remember—amazing things still happen when we teach. There are many roads to the same healing outcome.
You don’t have to begin with unstructured presence. It’s okay to start with more structure. As you grow more confident in your own embodiment of the work, you can gradually lean into guiding more and teaching less—allowing sessions to unfold organically.
The key is to start somewhere, with plenty of self-compassion and grace, and then gently challenge yourself to take small risks toward more guidance and less instruction.
Why This Matters (For Facilitators and Clients)
The relationship between client and horse often parallels the relationships they have elsewhere.Through this work, they learn what it means to feel safe, to have and set boundaries, to build trust, and to show up with authenticity.
When we strike the right balance between teaching, guiding, and letting go, we invite our clients into a space where they can explore these relational dynamics in a safe, embodied way. Teaching often creates safety and predictability, laying the foundation, but we learn not by being told, but by doing. Guiding can offer just the right amount of direction and support, allowing our clients to heal not just by understanding, but by experiencing.
And that is where the deepest change happens.
Want to Go Deeper?
If you have ever wrestled with the question of how much to direct your clients, you are not alone. It is one of the most common questions I receive, and for good reason. The answer is complex, but it is also learnable.
I recently talked about this topic in a webinar, where I shared these stories in great detail and offered practical, concrete tools to help you navigate this balance with more confidence and clarity.
We will also explore topics like this in the NL Intensive, where you will have the chance to practice, reflect, and grow in community.
I hope you will join us.
Watch the Webinar Join NL Intensive
by Laura McFarland | Jul 21, 2025 | Basics of Natural Lifemanship, Business, Equine Assisted Trainings
What Does It Really Mean to Be Certified?
When we launched the Natural Lifemanship (NL) Certification Program in 2016, we asked ourselves two important questions:
What does it mean to be NL certified? And what exactly are we certifying?
Many of us had been studying the Neurosequential Model with Dr. Bruce Perry. In our discussions, we kept returning to something he emphasized repeatedly when speaking about certification. He was clear that his program was designed to provide people with the experiences they needed to learn and apply the Neurosequential Model. However, he also acknowledged that the degree to which someone became competent in using the model was beyond the scope of what his program could evaluate.
Dr. Perry stated plainly: his certification program certified experience, not competence.
That framing deeply resonated with us. From the very beginning, Natural Lifemanship has taken the same stance:
We certify experience. We do not certify competence.
Competence Is a Moving Target
When we invest in our growth and learning, of course we want to become competent. With competence comes effectiveness and also confidence. We feel more capable, we know what we are doing, we achieve good outcomes, and as a result, we find our work rewarding and enjoyable.
However, what it takes to be competent changes with time and context. Just as you can never stand in the same river twice, you can never be assured that the knowledge and skills you possess right now will be sufficient to effectively deal with a situation you encounter tomorrow or a year from now.
True competence requires continual growth. One has never entirely “arrived.”
That said, accomplishments along the way are important. They demonstrate the extent of one’s dedication and striving to continually learn and grow. They show that you are moving along a path.
And at NL, being on the path is more important than reaching the end of it.
Engagement Prevails Over Competence
As a model that is deeply geared toward development—personal development, professional development, and even neurodevelopment—we are not in the business of asking, “Are you competent?” or, “Can you do this or that?“
Those are binary distinctions: yes or no; can or cannot. But real growth is a long process, with ups and downs, successes and failures.
The one essential criterion for growth is ongoing engagement. So instead, we ask: Are you engaged?
Engagement can be measured by both how often you show up and how you show up. You cannot be engaged if you do not show up at all. And once you do show up, the quality of your presence determines what you gain from any experience.
It is the quantity and quality of your experiences that reflect your level of engagement.
This is why our certification process is exactly that—a process.
Engaging in experiences over time is more meaningful to us than demonstrating competence at a single moment in time.
Milestones, Not Endpoints
While your learning and growth with NL will never end (at least we hope they don’t!), we would love to help you celebrate and share your milestones and achievements along the way. That is why we are now very pleased to offer digital credentials.
These new digital badges and certificates of completion are earned when you reach certain milestones in the certification journey:
The more experiences you engage in with us, the more badges you’ll earn. This is not intended to be a “token economy” or a system of rewards. Rather, it is a way to demonstrate a level of engagement and commitment.
Looking Ahead
We will be dedicating some future blogs to this subject as we aim to help EAS consumers better understand what to look for when choosing a practitioner.
These upcoming pieces will explore what our credentials actually represent, how they reflect experience and engagement, and why that matters when you’re seeking care rooted in connection and development.
We look forward to continuing the conversation, and we are honored to walk alongside you.
by Bettina Shultz-Jobe, LPC, NBCC | Jul 15, 2025 | Basics of Natural Lifemanship, Business
What Do You Actually Do With the Horses?
One of the hardest things about working in the field of equine-assisted services is answering this simple question: “What exactly do you do?”
What I do as a licensed mental health counselor can feel like a riddle sometimes. When I tell people I integrate horses into the counseling process, their minds often jump to a common image: therapeutic riding. While therapeutic riding programs are wonderful and do amazing work, what we offer in equine-assisted mental health services is quite different.
Our Unique Approach
Imagine a conversation:
Curious Person: “So, what exactly do you do?”
Me: “I’m a licensed mental health counselor, and sometimes I integrate horses into therapy. We work on the same goals you’d pursue in a traditional office setting, like managing anxiety, depression, ADHD, or PTSD. The big difference? Our ‘office’ is often outdoors, and we approach those goals in a unique way with horses.”
Curious Person: “Oh yeah! I think there’s a program like that down the road.”
(Usually, they’re referring to a therapeutic riding program for children with special needs.)
Me: “That’s a fantastic program, and I actually spent over ten years certified in therapeutic riding – I love it! But our work is distinct. Therapeutic riding is an adaptive sport, focusing on riding skills and physical benefits. Our work, on the other hand, is about mental health and personal growth. About 80% of what we do happens on the ground, and our goals are never about riding or horsemanship skills—they’re rooted in mental health. They’re always about the client’s emotional well-being and relational patterns.”
It’s Not About Grooming (Mostly!) – It’s About Connection
Another common question surfaces quickly:
Curious Person: “So then what do you do with the horses? Just groom them?”
Me: “Sometimes grooming is part of it, but the core of our work revolves around the relationship between the horse and the person. We believe that true healing happens within the context of safe, connected relationships. The way that relationship is built with the horse is incredibly important.”
“We guide and support our clients as they learn to forge a deeply attuned relationship with a horse – one built on trust, consent, mutual respect, clear communication, appropriate boundaries, and genuine connection. These aren’t just feel-good words; they’re the foundational principles we practice every session.”
Beyond “Horse Whisperer”: Embracing “Horse Listening”
The ‘horse whisperer’ question almost always comes up, often with a slight giggle from my end.
Curious Person: “So, are you like a horse whisperer?”
Me: “Well, kinda. But I prefer to say it’s about horse listening. We learn to listen to the horse, and in doing so, we learn to listen more deeply to ourselves. Then, we learn how to respond intentionally and authentically to what we’ve heard.”
Now, as a professional in this field, I want to be clear: no self-respecting horse person claims to be a ‘horse whisperer.’ The term is Hollywood-glamorized and implies some secret, innate gift. However, I understand why the layperson uses it – it suggests a gentle, close, and seemingly magical communication with horses. And in that sense, it does get us closer to understanding what happens in our sessions.
You might observe a client asking a horse to follow them without a lead rope, simply through their body language and energy. You might see them walking in perfect sync or engaging in what looks like a beautiful dance as the client asks the horse to move away and then return. The communication is often subtle, nuanced, and incredibly gentle – so subtle, in fact, you might struggle to see it at all. Some might call this ‘horse whispering.’
Demystifying Attuned Relationships: The Heart of Our Mission
Here’s our core belief: Anyone can learn to communicate this way if they’re willing to do the personal work required. Attuned communication isn’t reserved for a gifted few. It’s learnable. It’s teachable. And most importantly—it transfers.
Our mission is to demystify attuned relationships, not just with horses, but with everyone. There are no hidden secrets—just sound relationship principles, practiced over time with support and intention. The profound lessons clients learn in building a respectful, consensual, and communicative relationship with a horse seamlessly transfer to all other relationships in their lives.
Horses are incredible partners. If we allow them, they will show us exactly how our internal and emotional states, and our resulting behaviors, affect others. With the right therapeutic support, they provide the perfect, safe space to practice new, healthier ways of being in relationship – with ourselves and with the people around us.
Ready to Go Deeper? Train and Certify with Natural Lifemanship
If something about this work speaks to you—if you’re drawn to the power of healing through relationship, connection, and the wisdom of horses—maybe it’s time to take the next step.
At Natural Lifemanship, we offer a clear and supported path to training and certification for professionals in mental health, education, coaching, and other helping and healing professions. Our approach integrates the neuroscience of relationships, the art of attunement, and grounded, trauma-informed principles to help you facilitate meaningful, lasting change for others—and for yourself.
Whether you’re just getting started or looking to deepen your current practice, certification with Natural Lifemanship offers:
- A comprehensive, research-backed framework
- Practical tools and embodied learning experiences
- A vibrant, supportive community of like-minded professionals
- Opportunities for personal growth and professional transformation
This isn’t just a training—it’s a way of being in the world. And we’re here to walk alongside you as you learn to build connection that heals.
👉 Ready to begin your journey? Explore our full certification pathway here:
naturallifemanship.com/certifications
You don’t have to have all the answers. You just have to be willing to do the work—and we’ll help guide the way.
by Bettina Shultz-Jobe, LPC, NBCC | Jun 26, 2025 | Basics of Natural Lifemanship, Case Studies, Equine Assisted Trainings, Personal Growth
When it comes to equine-assisted services, we often focus on the profound emotional and psychological breakthroughs that happen when humans and horses connect. We celebrate the moments when a client finds their voice, builds confidence, or processes trauma through their relationship with these magnificent equine partners. But there’s something fundamental we’re missing in many conversations about this work—something that determines whether these breakthroughs happen at all.
Your body is speaking, whether you realize it or not, and the horses are listening.
The Language Horses Understand Best
When we engage with a horse, we enter a conversation that precedes spoken language. Horses are hardwired to read the subtle communications of movement, posture, and energy that reveal intention, emotional state, and even past experiences. They don’t care about your credentials, your therapeutic techniques, or your carefully crafted treatment plans. They care about what your body is telling them at this moment.
This creates both an incredible opportunity and a significant challenge for those of us working in equine-assisted services. The opportunity lies in the immediate, honest feedback horses provide about our internal states. The challenge is that most of us have never been trained to understand what our bodies are actually communicating.
We live in a culture that has taught us to separate the mind from the body, to treat physical wellness as distinct from mental health. But here’s what science tells us: our brain, body, and nervous system develop together from the very beginning.
In utero, it’s not that the brain develops first and then tells the body to move. Rather, the body begins moving in reflexive patterns, and it’s through this movement that neural pathways form.
Movement builds the brain. And trauma, by altering our movement patterns, reshapes our neural landscape in ways that affect how we think, feel, and relate to the world.
Trauma Changes the Way We Move
When trauma occurs, the body adapts. These adaptations are often protective, and they are usually unconscious.
We see this played out in the bodies of trauma survivors—shoulders turned inward, eyes cast downward, feet turned inward with toes curled toward the midline. This particular posture, interestingly, mirrors one of our earliest intrauterine movements, when a developing baby moves into the protective fetal position.
When someone lives in this contracted, protective posture consistently, they’re not just physically small—they’re emotionally and energetically small too. They’ve learned to make themselves quiet, invisible, safe. And horses, with their exquisite sensitivity to body language and energy, respond to this communication immediately.
A Story of Change
One of our clients, a woman in her 40s, came to us with a history of early and repeated trauma. Her body moved in a way that reflected her past. She walked with her head down, her shoulders rounded, and her toes curled slightly inward. She carried herself as if trying to disappear.
When she made requests of the horses, they ignored her. Some even pushed her out of their space.
Rather than focusing on what she was saying, we focused on how she was moving. We worked with developmental movement patterns—specifically, the push and reach patterns that help restore a sense of agency. These patterns are part of what we teach in the Embodied Developmental Movement Series.
This wasn’t about telling her how to stand. Instead, we invited her to explore “push” in her body – her ability to push into the earth for support, and her experience of pushing on an object, or another person, to rediscover her internal strength. In exploring “push”, we also explore the felt sense of “I am here”.
As she practiced these movements, her nervous system began to shift. Her stance changed. Her energy became more organized.
We didn’t ask her to stand a certain way, we helped her find what she needed to hold herself tall.
Eventually, the horses started to respond to her differently. They began to listen, to connect, and to willingly choose to cooperate with her requests.
The change was not just physical, it was emotional and relational. And it began in the body.
Subtle Adjustments Make a Big Impact
Another client, an executive with a high level of anxiety, presented a different movement pattern. On the surface she appeared confident, straight-backed with her head up. But her movement told a more complex story.
When she reached toward her horse, her weight shifted backward. Her knees were locked, and she stood heavily on her heels. She believed she was grounded. In truth, she was leaning away.
With gentle guidance, she softened her knees and allowed her full foot to meet the ground. For the first time, she felt her toes. This simple change brought her into a more neutral and balanced position. Her horse responded with a deep breath and moved toward her.
That moment marked a turning point. By learning to move in a more integrated way, she experienced a deeper sense of connection—with herself and with her horse. A shift she couldn’t help but take into the rest of her relationships.
Retained Reflexes and Incomplete Patterns
We also see clients who carry reflexes that were never fully integrated during development. (Sometimes it is just a part of themselves who carries the reflex.) The Moro reflex, for example, is a startle response that should complete in infancy. When it remains active, it can show up in adult clients as sudden backward movement, difficulty recovering from surprise, or heightened reactivity.
In equine sessions, this often becomes visible during mounted work. If a horse makes a sudden stop or shift, the client may flinch backward and struggle to return to center. These reactions are not about the horse. They are rooted in the body’s unprocessed history.
By working with these reflexes in an intentional manner, we help clients build the capacity to stay present. We help them complete movements that were never allowed to finish.
A Change the Horses Can See
The people we work with often begin to feel change in their bodies before they see it reflected in their lives. In traditional relationships, others may take time to notice or trust a person’s transformation.
But horses notice right away.
When a client stands more grounded, breathes more deeply, or moves with intention, the horse responds immediately. That response builds trust. It reinforces the change. It gives the client something to hold onto when the outside world is slower to catch up.
This is one of the reasons equine-assisted work is so powerful. It allows clients to experience the impact of their healing as it happens.
The Role of the Practitioner
To do this work well, we must become students of movement. We need to understand how the body was designed to move, how trauma alters that movement, and how we can guide clients in regaining patterns that support regulation and connection.
This is what the Embodied Developmental Movement Series teaches.
Across four progressive trainings, we explore the motor patterns and reflexes that shape human development. We practice observing the body with care and clarity. And we learn how to support small, intentional shifts that lead to meaningful transformation.
The work of developmental movement is about connecting with our most basic, and pervasive, way of experiencing the world. As a facilitator, we can observe gesture, posture, gait, breath, patterns of tension and collapse, and so much more.
We can lean into the subtle nuances of how our clients move through their world, and rebuild patterns from the ground up that support health and harmony.
When you become more fluent in the language of movement, you gain new tools for healing. And you help your clients discover what it means to be fully present in their own bodies—and in their relationships.
Healing rooted in the body
When we help someone move differently, we help them live and connect differently. That is the heart of this work.
If you already practice a somatic lens with your clients, these trainings will add to your toolbox and enrich your skills. See more in your client’s subtleties, get to the root of the issue faster, and have more ways to creatively bring integration and clarity to your sessions.
If you are new to somatic work, or are unsure about your scope of practice, these trainings can offer you what you need to have a solid foundation to offer clients. By attending all four trainings, you create your somatic movement scope of practice.
If you are ready to deepen your practice and explore the intelligence of movement, we invite you to explore the Embodied Developmental Movement Series with Mark Taylor and Bettina Shultz-Jobe and join us.
by Bettina Shultz-Jobe, LPC, NBCC | Apr 23, 2025 | Applied Principles, Basics of Natural Lifemanship, Personal Growth
There’s a moment many of us recognize—quiet but profound—when something clicks in session. A client gently touches a horse’s mane, or pauses mid-sentence in conversation, and you feel it.
A shift. A softening. Something real is happening.
But just as often, that moment slips away. It begins to represent something else – something in “real life,” something outside of the present moment. Maybe the horse becomes “Dad” or “my husband,” and the silence turns into something else.
Many of us start drawing lines and meaning before the experience can fully unfold. We turn to symbolism far too early and far too often.
But this is only projection. It might feel profound, but it isn’t presence.
In Natural Lifemanship, we say the relationship is the work. That means we meet our clients (and our equine partners) right where they are. Not as symbols. Not as metaphors. Not as stand-ins for the people or patterns we’ve carried. Just as they are.
Because true transformation happens not in what we imagine the relationship to be—but in how we experience it, moment to moment.
The Illusion of Insight
Projection can feel like insight. A client might say, “This horse reminds me of my mother,” and suddenly it all seems to make sense—the resistance, the anger, the longing. After all, the brain loves a neat narrative.
But insight without presence is a detour.
When we assign roles too soon, we bypass the discomfort of simply being in a relationship. We give ourselves a way out—a story to hold onto instead of a truth to stay with, to be with, to sense into. . . In doing so, we trade connection for clarity. And clarity, when it arrives prematurely, can actually prevent the deeper work from happening.
Presence is the Practice
Working in a trauma-informed way means we resist the urge to label too soon. We stay curious. We slow down. We let the nervous system settle before the story takes shape.
That’s hard. Especially for those of us trained in traditional modalities where naming things is seen as progress. But healing doesn’t come from labeling—it comes from relating.
In our Fundamentals training, we return to this again and again: presence is not passive. It’s active engagement. It’s showing up with our whole selves—body, breath, attention—and choosing to stay with what’s actually happening, not what we think it means.
It’s the foundation of secure attachment. And it’s the soil from which transformation grows.
Why We Work With What Is
So why does this matter? Because when we work with what is—the actual being in front of us, the feelings in our own bodies, the relational dynamics that arise organically—we begin to shift from symbolic healing to somatic healing.
Symbolic healing may provide insight. But somatic healing provides integration.
This doesn’t mean metaphor is useless. In fact, meaning-making can be beautiful and powerful. But only when it comes after presence—not in place of it.
We can’t build real relationships with a projection. But we can build relationships with a living, breathing being. And that relationship, when approached with curiosity and care, guides us to insight far more honest than anything we could manufacture.
A Personal Reflection
I remember a session with a client who kept referring to a particular horse as “my ex.” She meant it half-jokingly, but the dynamics were clear—she was guarded, reactive, mistrustful. It made sense, given her history.
Rather than following the metaphor, I asked her to focus on the actual interaction. How was the horse moving? What was she feeling in her body? Where did she notice tension? Could she stay with that?
It wasn’t instant. But slowly, something softened. She stopped narrating and started noticing. The story faded. Presence returned.
And in that space, a different kind of truth emerged—less about her past and more about her capacity to be in the present, in this relationship, with this horse, and this capable and beautiful self.
That’s the kind of shift that sticks.
Moving From Story to Self
Projection is a way our brains try to make sense of the world. It’s not inherently bad. But when we hold too tightly to the stories we project, we miss the opportunity to be changed by real connection.
And that’s the heart of this work: to offer experiences that don’t just explain our patterns but transform them.
When we stop projecting and start relating, healing becomes possible—not because we named it, but because we felt it. Lived it. Practiced it.
In the body. In the breath. In the space between two beings, neither of whom is trying to be anything other than who and what they are.
Join Us for the Conversation
If this resonates with you—if you’re ready to explore how to move from projection to presence—we invite you to join us.
On April 28 at 5 PM Central, I will host a free webinar on “Connection Without Projection.” It’s a powerful opportunity to deepen your understanding of why presence matters more than metaphor—and how this shift can change your practice, your relationships, and your life.
And if you’re ready to go further, consider enrolling in our Fundamentals of Natural Lifemanship training. It’s where the work begins—where we build the roots that allow everything else to grow.
Because healing doesn’t start with metaphor.
It starts with what’s real.
by Bettina Shultz-Jobe, LPC, NBCC | Oct 29, 2024 | Basics of Natural Lifemanship
On September 27th, the day Hurricane Helene devastated Florida, North Carolina, and several other states, I was supposed to be traveling to Asheville for a Fundamentals Practicum at Horse Sense of the Carolinas. I have family in Florida, who evacuated to Texas and some who braved both hurricanes. Having lived over 10 years in Central Florida with hurricanes and 10 years as a young child in the Panhandle of Texas with tornadoes, my heart and body ache for those whose lives will never be the same.
I feel it. My body remembers, which is a powerful, and sometimes painful, path to empathy.
This is a hard time. . . I think there is likely a much more eloquent way to communicate just how hard it really is right now, but, without simply adding cuss words to the front of “hard time,” this is all I’ve got at the moment.
I know. . .it’s heavy.
With elections looming, fires raging, and hurricanes wreaking absolute havoc, there are moments that I feel like the world is spinning out of control.
As healers and helpers, this feeling of overwhelm can hit even harder—because we’re not only trying to manage our own emotions, we’re also holding space for others and for ourselves in unique ways. We helpers are often particularly sensitive and empathetic, and we seek day by day to be present and to deeply feel with others – to stay in it. All of it.
I regularly fight the urge to just put my head down and pretend none of it is happening, but I know this isn’t what the world needs from me, and when I choose to check out I know it goes against everything that we teach and everything that we, at NL, stand for.
Healing is found in the present moment. Period. And sometimes the present moment is painful.
Our world needs people like us, who are deeply attuned to it all, so we can decide how to truly help. (Right now, as I write, I find the need to take a deep breath. I invite you to pause and take a deep breath with a slow exhale with me.)
Finding Power in Kindness
How do we stay in it and keep feeling without getting swept up in the enormity of it all? When everything seems out of control, what is within our power? What can we possibly do to make things better?
I love this quote, which is on a magnet on the refrigerator in our kitchen, from Rebecca Hubbard’s book, Kindness in a Scary World, one of my favorite children’s books: “Every small thing a person does is just as important as every big thing a person does. If we all do a little, then those little kindnesses add up to a huge amount of help.”
I have come to realize that many of the things in this world that are true – Big T True – have a tendency to also sound trite. They can sound trite until they’ve trudged through the fire and flood and drought (both literally and figuratively), and come out on the other side as a Truth etched into every inch of our being. This, my friend, is how a mission, worth making major sacrifices for, maybe even worth dying for, is formed.
“Every small thing a person does is just as important as every big thing a person does. If we all do a little, then those little kindnesses add up to a huge amount of help.”
This is Big T True.
Kindness, to ourselves and to others, becomes our power. Dare I say, SUPER POWER.
Rebecca Hubbard’s book, Kindness in a Scary World, was originally written to empower children when facing scary news events. But, like many children’s books, it offers wisdom that applies to all of us—adults, too.
Children see things on the news or experience fear directly, and they start to wonder, What can I do? What could happen? These same questions are on our minds as adults. The answer is simple: we can each do something kind.
Kindness Toward Self and Others
As therapists and healers, we are accustomed to being the support system for our clients. But now, more than ever, we need to ensure we’re taking care of ourselves as well, because the stronger we are, the more we can offer to others. Listen to your body, and take time to pause so you can repair from the stress of the day or the moment. Walk, stretch, sit in a rocking chair, talk with a friend, and then mobilize again.
Move, act. . .REST.
Move, act. . .REST.
Move, act. . . REST.
Allow time for your nervous system to repair and strengthen. Be kind to your body.
Can we, as a community, commit to doing at least one kind thing for ourselves each day and then – not only for the sake of others, but for our sense of purpose and power – do one kind thing for someone else each day? Kindness with a slightly different intention – kindness to help others and to empower ourselves.
As we all know, acts of kindness can take many forms: eye contact with the person checking us out at the grocery store, a deep breath in a group setting, a kind prayer for the person who cuts us off in traffic, for we know that each of us is fighting, an often unseen, battle.
Connect with others. We can even donate our time or money to a cause that aligns with our values. These acts help us remember that we are not powerless, and when we are empowered, trauma is less likely to become embodied, so that we can continue to do the life-giving and life-changing work we have been called to.
When we each do a little, we are participating in something much larger than ourselves. Imagine if every therapist, healer, and helper in our community committed to one kind act toward themselves and toward others, each day. Imagine the energy and the momentum that would build.
We can find solace in knowing that our individual actions, when combined with others, can shift the energy of an entire community. It’s a ripple effect of kindness that can grow and grow.
We may not be able to stop hurricanes or fires, or even heal the wounds of a divided society overnight, but we can start by extending kindness.
Final Thoughts: Turning Powerlessness into Action
No matter how overwhelming the world feels right now, remember that you are not alone and you are not powerless.
As EAS practitioners, we are uniquely positioned to create positive change, both for ourselves and for our clients. By committing to kindness, we can take small steps toward healing—both personally and collectively.
In the coming days, let’s come together as a community and commit to doing one kind thing for ourselves and for someone else each day. And let’s remember Rebecca Hubbard’s words: “Every small thing a person does is just as important as every big thing a person does.”
Kindness isn’t just an antidote to fear—it’s a powerful force for good. Let’s wield it well.
It’s important to remember that we have the power to make a difference, no matter how small it may seem.
Consider donating to Heart of Horse Sense, where your contribution will go directly to supporting those who have been affected by Hurricane Helene in Asheville and the surrounding areas. Natural Lifemanship will match donations up to $2,000, doubling the impact of your generosity. Simply mention Natural Lifemanship when you donate.
To purchase Rebecca Hubbard’s Kindness in a Scary World or to donate to Heart of Horse Sense, please visit the links below. Together, we can make a difference.
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